Sometimes You Feel Like A Nut

I heard this joke on the radio last night & burst out laughing:

There were two peanuts walking down the street the other day & one was assaulted (a salted....get it?).

He's A Mean One.....Mr. Grinch

Christmas was going along okay yesterday. I am still under-the-weather and had to rest a lot during the festivities. Things seemed fine when I heard my phone beep. A text came through from the infamous Cowboy wishing me a merry christmas. Yeah--thanks. I went out for dinner to a relative's home & got back late. There's a voicemail for me. Yippee! I had talked to everyone already so I wondered who it was.................idiot. "Hi, Tanya....it's me. I just wanted to wish you a Merry Christmas. I don't know if you want to hear from me but I wanted to tell you. I wish you'd call. I still love you."

I muddle it through. The words I wanted to hear. But not the way I wanted to hear them. So, exhausted and still sick, I decide to call him around 11pm. Stupid Stupid Stupid. I told him it was hard to call him because I want him to be in love with me...not love me. I told him I was so confused. He said after I sent that text in November telling him I was still in love with him he went out with friends & they asked if I was moving there. He said not that he knew of. They said then this won't ever work, will it. He thought about it & decided...without telling me...that it wasn't going anywhere & that's why he did this. I came back with "What happened to Ohio? What happened to us making that work? What happened to me driving it with you? And what happened to seeing eachother next week?" I told him about moving there for the summer & if I could find permanent work, staying out there for a bit longer than 4 months. He asked me why I hadn't told him. I said "I wanted to tell you in person, not over the phone. I would have told you next week. But apparently your new friends already changed your ideas. You had already moved on to Laura (the slut)." He said "I wasn't dating her then"...............................I choked. I said "What do you mean 'then'? That means you are dating her" He said "It kind of happened." I said "Kind of? Isn't this the one who used you to get another guy & she slept with him that same night?" His reply? "Well, I can't be sure she did. That may not be true." OKAY---what woman tells another guy she slept with a guy on the first day he would give her the time of day if it wasn't true? So I said "Don't back peddle this now. Don't make her out to be all innocent." And the Ohio thing? He said he chickened out. I asked him why he didn't just tell me. He said he didn't know how. Am I that hard to talk to? I supported him staying there. I supported him moving to Ohio. I repeatedly asked him to come back to NY.

He told me his feelings for me aren't changed & that he "put a wall up because it hurts so much" and all that crap. I hung up bawling saying "My Christmas was missing you & I spent it all alone & now I find out you spent it in the arms of another. Thank you for destroying my holiday". And I hung up. I am literaly nauseus over this. How do you love someone for so long & then in 3 weeks date someone else? Again--slut--and I say this because of what she did. It's not that I don't fault him at all in this but how do you go from dating me to dating a slut? It makes no sense.

Quarantined

I have been in this house for a week now. My last REAL outing was Sunday night when I went out for coffee with JW. Since then, I went to work Monday through Thursday & had come home, crashing each time because I was getting sick. Well, since Thursday morning, I have had a full-blown case of the flu. I had plans Wednesday night, Thursday afternoon & evening, Friday & yesterday & I had to bail on ALL of them. This flu is driving me crazy. For those who know me, I would have to have my arm severed off before I'd go to the doctor/hospital. I ended up going yesterday because I had no relief. What do I need to do? Relax. Drink plenty of fluids. Let it run it's course. Drat!

To add salt to my wounds, Cowboy called yesterday (on his way to work, ofcourse, incase I picked up we'd have LIMITED -- 10 minutes -- to talk) and left me a message saying how he feels bad that I am so hurt & he is hurting too but he didn't know how to do this......blah blah blah...........he hopes I have a happy holiday. So, because I can blame it on all of the medication swirling around in me, I called him when I knew he wouldn't pick up & said how I miss him & don't understand this & see no need to talk because when I ask him the questions he doesn't want to answer I'll get the "I don't know" response & it'll be good that he is 3000 miles away because I'd punch him if he said that to my face. I told him that he did exactly what all the others did & that's okay. He fits the mold of all the guys he scoffed at before him. I then wished him a happy holiday too. That was it. I didn't say it sarcastically, if you wanted to know. I said it all quietly because if I raised my voice at all I would have screamed or cried....and I won't give him that satisfaction. You can tell me not to call him but he owes me money still & I will have to keep some form of contact so I can try to get it without turning it into a legal issue.

I am going stir crazy in this house.

I'm Such A Wirl.........I Think

Elaine gave me a book to read titled "The 10 Women You'll Be Before You're 35" and I have been reading/skimming it for two weeks now. I see my current self in so many of the ten that the author describes. However, I seem to hold more qualities of a wirl than anything else.

Here's the list that tells one if she is in the "wirl" stage:

*you can sit in a room with someone in college and someone turning 40 and you
relate to both pretty well
*you wonder if the guy you're dating will ever propose to you, and then you're
terrified he might and you'll have to follow through with it.
*you research home equity loans, tax brackets, and life insurance on the internet.
10 minutes later you are playing video games on that same computer. (so me!)
*your siblings, friends, and parents are showing signs of aging for the first time
*people who were born while you were in high school are now driving, and something
about hat just seems wrong.
*professional athletes look like babies but you can still date one without raising
eyebrows


a big thing is someone calling you "Ma'am". I hate that one. This chapter also talks about the body issues.....metabolism slowing down & actually counting stupid calories, the fashion issue where you can still wear a tank, minishirt, and strappy sandals but the suit for work looks good too, you question what it means to "act your age".

While I enjoyed this book, it's driving me crazy to see the stages of life & independence in writing. It makes reality set in & that just sux.

Day 15 of Detox

As each day passes, I guess I am getting better. When Cowboy first told me that it was over, I cried so much that my everything hurt. I didn't say anything right away becasue the mere thought if it drove me over the edge. A couple days later it was all I could talk about. Every sentence began with "How could he?" and "Why did he...?" with hopes of someone having the answer I need so much.

When the first text came through, I was yanked back to crying hysterics. The second brought about anger & insult.

Now, I have not heard from him since that last text in the wee hours of Sunday morning. I think I am geting better. I am still hopeful that this will all blow over & he'll call & say it was a mistake & let's try this again. Yet, if I don't hear from him, I may be able to hang on to that last strand of sanity that (I think) I have.

I wonder how I will feel on Christmas & New Years? That will be so tough. And the three weeks off won't help the recovery process too much. I will just have to wait and see how I deal with it.

~Treading water

Glimmery S*itter

Crak & I exchanged gifts today at work. She is a riot. For some reason, she was trying to say shimmery & glitter at the same time & it came out wrong. I didn't realize it at frist, but I knew it was wrong & I said it back to her. That was when the actual words hit us! Yeah-----major slippage. Also, I shall no longer refer to her as Crak. Rather she & I are interchangeable enough to go as "Elaine & Suzie" (if you don't know that episode of 'Seinfeld'...nevermind).

Anyway..........the gifts..................

Elaine (or Suzie) gave me a Festivus Holiday book. To quote her: Hil. Air. E. Us. I want to host a Festivus party and use the recipes & decorating tips from this hysterical book. The next gift was a "How To Be Your Own Fairy Godmother" & it came with a pink star-shaped "fairy wand" that is actually a pen! Too Cute! Finally, she made a shirt with our new names on it. The front says "Elaine and Suzie..." and the back finishes off our famous saying....."Suzie & Elaine". I wanted to cry from laughing.

Thanks, Elaine, for the laughs & the funniest (and most appropriate) gifts! It was a Festivus miracle.

A Happy Festivus Season to all!

The Most Interesting Cards I Have Ever Seen

I was in the card store near my house this afternoon looking for a card for work. I walked down one aisle and a group of cards caught my eye. I always like to stop and read the ones that are the water color backgrounds....you know the ones that are all muted colors and one shade leads into the next? Yeah, those. Anyway, the topics started out pretty normal..."Thinking of You", "Missing You", "Sympathy" and then it got to "I'd Like To Get To Know You Better", "Sorry I Hurt You", "This Could Be Going Somewhere", and "I Am Not Sure This Will Work Out". It's like I walked down the reject aisle.....or better yet.....similar to the movie "Rudolph and the Island of Misfit Toys". These were the most misfit cards I have ever seen.

Why Is He Contacting Me?

I woke up at 5 am out of a deep sleep because of a nightmare I was having. I sat up & looked around panicking. When I finally caught my breath, I saw my phone with a text on it. Cowboy. "I am so sorry you are as mad, hurt, angry that you wont call me. Hope to hear from you soon. I am sorry"

Why would I call him? What do I have left to say to him? He's texting me at 3am for what reason? His evening is over & as he is winding down he is thinking about me? Both times he's sent me a text were at the end of his day off. Nice. I am the last thought you have so you finish with this so as not to feel guilty or something?

I asked JW why would a guy break up with you, ignore your text & message for a week & then text you that he doesn't understand why you won't call him. He said it makes no sense. He also said that when he & other guy friends break it off with someone, that's it. They don't call later on to "see how you are doing". I can say that every guy I ever dated who has broken up with me has called me within a month to "check on me". Gag me. I don't think it's for any other reason than to have a guilt-free conscious.

But, if anyone can give me an idea as to why he is doing this, other than what I think,let me know.

How Interested Is He?

NJ finally wrote back to me from two days ago. I notice that days pass before he'll respond. I don't get it. This isn't a major conversation of emails taking place. Its along the lines of where did you last travel....last movie you saw.....pets & siblings..........that's it. He asked a few questions in his last email that I answered & asked him a few. This time he only asked me why I went to Fla so often & then if I had any weekend plans because his weekend is BOOKED. Don't worry, Mr. NJ, I wasn't planning on asking you out & I am geting the feeling you don't want to meet up at all. Which is fine because you live in Jersey & I don't plan to commute to see you. ;)

Almost forgot to mention that I added him to my buddy list in case he wanted to chat. I figured he could initiate it. My one list is linked to the other so I can see the same names on both. Well, isn't it odd that he has me blocked on the email account I gave him but he doesn't know I could see he was on with my other name. Yeah, he popped up on that list & I was confused. So, as I asked, how interested is he? Not very!

Two Evenings in One

In was in the works some time now that Crak & I were to go out & try that restaurant/lounge FOUR. So, last night we dressed up a bit & headed on over. We got there with ease & had to valet the car (complimentary, ofcourse).

We went inside & had to wait for the host's attention for a few minutes before he'd even acknowledge we were standing there. They seated us soon after & put us in their "winter" room. It was the last of the four seasons (get it?) and so interesting. Wait. Let me describe the restaurant first. It's, as I just said, based on the four seasons. The lounge is the "spring" area with couches & ottomans to sit on. Everything is light shades of green. The bar area is "summer" and done in warmer colors. The table area is "autumn" and more earthy tones, while the final room is shaped like an igloo & has an egg-shaed tv suspended in the center with a screen fire burning to keep you warm. Outside there are four panels facing into the restaurant that have nature scenes of babbling brooks, birds flying and waterfalls to set the outdoorsy feel.

The winter room has five ginormous booths to sit in. They hold up to eight people comfortably but these yahoos sat just us two little people in this thing. It was completely empty in the dining areas but they sat us in a spot that was so out-of-the-way it didn't make sense. We can spin this in one of two directions: they were trying to hide us because (as we later saw) we didn't have enough silicone to offer OR we were in the VIP-ish area where we could relax & not be disturbed by all of those fawning for our attention. I said we'd go with the latter.

We ordered fun drinks, food & dessert. Crak had a FOUR-jito. Four liquors to make some rellay good tasting mojito. I had the Candy Store. Lots of melon vodka & other stuff---can't remember because the dirnk was that strong & I have no idea about alcohols--with pop rocks candy in the bottom & around the rim of the glass. The stirrer? A sour apple lollipop. I was having a sugar rush beyond belief. Dinner was a coconut grilled tilapia for Crak & I had crab cakes & flatbread pizza. Dessert was not so much fun. You think we would have learned from our Sushi Samba experience, but no. We ordered some chocolate coca cola cake. Not so good. To top it off, they bring a pile of cotton candy on a large wine glass to the table as your "after dinner mint", but it's not a mint. It's a big pink cloud of yumminess in front of you & your stuffed stomach. We ate it greedily. I dared Crak to lick it at the end because I wanted a funny shot for my phone but she wouldn't do it.

Well, sitting there tipsy, we scrolled through her phone to see what was on the list of things to talk about so we wouldn't talk about work. Gameboy was on the list. I said his name out loud. She said "You should call him". And so I did.

He answered the phone & all I said was "What are you doing? Wanna come to Melville from Brooklyn & make out with me? Be here asap." I hung up & Crak just laughed & said "I didn't think you'd call him". Oops....too late now!

Here is where the second evening kicks in. We are titling this
What Was Once Hot Is Barely An Ember

So less than one hour later, Gameboy shows up with Cyprus. Cyprus is his "older friend" he brought for Crak. Ummmm................I can't say much about the man because he chose to speak Greek the entire time & he was wearing what seemed to be a member's only jacket in red. Now, had he taken the jacket off, we'd have been able to see what we were working with. But he clinged to the thing as if he'd die without it.

Gameboy.............is growing his hair out. NOT A GOOD LOOK FOR HIM. I was so turned on the last time I saw him I could barely contain myself. This time I was like "Dear God, Are you punishing me for something?" All I kept thinking of was the Seinfeld episode. You know the Festivus One? Jerry is dating a woman named Gwen. She only looks good in certain lights. The rest of the time they say things like "Yamma Hamma. It's fright night" and scream. That was me.

But, Gameboy is ever the gentleman & came out from work. Which he doesn't do for anyone. I mean he left his job at 8:15 in Brooklyn to come out by 9:15 to see me. This is a rare event. I don't know why he jumps for me in times like these, but it keeps me amused.

He asked if we wanted drinks. I said "water, please" and he turned to Crak and said somehting about me being wild and ordering water. She said "No, she needs to drink". He asked her what she wanted & she said nothing because she was driving & had sobered up from the FOUR-jito. He came back with a malibu & coke for me, grey goose & red bulls for him & his friend, and a fancy water for Crak. But, that's him. He is so good that way. Now if the fashion & hair gods had been on our side............................but sadly, no.

So we talked & flirted & talked & touched & then I started to feel really hot & dizzy. I said I had to go outside for some cooler air & thank goodness I did. I don't know if it was the mix of alcohols, the TONS of sugar, or the antibiotics (probably all three) but I felt lousy.

Crak & I stayed with them until 11ish when they got a table & we bailed. We went outside & had to wait (not too long) for our valeted car & started the ride home.

I have to thank Crak for being such a good sport through it all. Not only did we have fun during dinner laughing at random nonsense, but she waited for Gameboy & stayed with me (and them) until the table was ready. Very patient.

I got home & around 12:00, Gameboy called. We talked for over an hour. He flirted a lot with me & begged me to go over to his house (3 minutes away), but I was not feeling too hot & was already in pajamas. I asked him why he didn't kiss me there at the bar & he said he felt "weird because Crak was watching. I think she hates me." Okay drama man. Get over yourself. She doesn't hate you. She only knows you from what I have told her. We did agree to try & meet up later tonight for the make-out session we want so much. Before, I wanted to make out with him because he was hot. Now I want to make out with him simply because I need to kiss somebody & get myself over the Cowboy situation. I'll just have to sqeeze my eyes closed really really tightly so I don't have to face that hair. UGH!

A Literary Christmas

I saw this on a card at B&N the other night. I couldn't resist writing it down! Happy Holidays!

Twelve Grishams Gripping
Eleven Unfortunate Events Unfolding
Ten Clancy Heroes Leaping
Nine Hobbits Dancing
Eight Plots Thickening
Seven Habits of Highly Effective People
Six Book Club Meetings
Five Little Golden Books
Four Da Vinci Clues
Three Chilling King Tales
Two Green Eggs with Ham
And a Potter in a Pear Tree

Withdrawals

So.

I haven't called or sent him a text since Friday morning.........

I have been good. I have been (gulp) strong in not contacting him. However, I did send a letter that got out everything I needed to say & didn't know if I'd ever get the chance or the strength (to keep from crying). I wrote it Sunday night. I mailed it yesterday.

And now what? I get a text from him (at 3 am) saying "I miss hearing your voice. I never meant to hurt you. I hope you call soon." What? I didn't call? How about I left you a message Friday morning.............almost a full week ago. And you never did ANYTHING about it.

It is taking everything I have to not call him. To not text him. But I want the letter to get there first. And when he reads it, he may call. He may not. I may never call him again. I may never text him again. Unless, ofcourse, he changes his tune, sees the errors of his (stupid & selfish) ways and life is back to where it was supposed to be 4 weeks ago.

Pieces

I wish that your world
would come crashing down
around you and you'd
see me

standing there holding

the pieces of our memories.
the past in one hand
future in another

As I try to force these
pieces to fit together
and put into place the picture
I see so clearly in my mind.

I force them to try and take shape.
To interlock the way I anticipated them
to do.
But they are stuck, jammed into
one another

awkwardly

And as the puzzle begins to break
apart,
you walk away kicking
the pieces....
scattering my dreams
and all of the promises that were
to be our life.

How Long Does One Wait?

I finally got a reply from Mr. NJ. He sent it today. I haven't opened it & don't know if I will. However, if I do, how long should I wait before opening it?

Stupid Is As Stupid Does

Did you hear the news story about the pitbull puppy that chewed off 4 toes of a baby? Yes. The parents fell asleep in the room where their 1-month old baby and 6 week old puppy were and didn't bother to keep the two seperate. The puppy was trying to nurse (according to speculations from vets) and couldn't feed. Well, puppies chew. Everything. And chewed four toes off of this child. Didn't the baby cry? Wasn't there any screaming before the toes were completely severed?

Thank goodness the child is in foster care, but that poor puppy is in a cage waiting to find out his fate.

I say leave the puppy alone & euthanaize the parents.

(And send the puppy to me!)

Sucky Monster

I posted my resume on the site a week ago. I have gotten two replies so far. Are either good? You decide:

1) Work as a contract manager for an internet talent agency. There is a salary but much of it comes from commissions. I wanted to punch the monitor.

2) Teach English to eager students! In China. I don't want to move to Mastic Beach. Why would I want to live in China?

Things had better pick up with this site.

One Singular (it's supposed to be sensation but...) Lunatic

Okay~~~still venting. Still depressed. Still crying.

No word from Cowboy & it's been a week. We went longer last year because I had stopped talking to him because he failed to show up for the Chocolate Show. I didn't talk to him for three weeks & then another 3. The only reason I did was because of Thanksgiving. And then the day before Christmas. But since New Year's Day, we've talked non-stop.

I lost my best friend. At first I thought I was crying because it hurt that he didn't care & now there's nobody to feel all of those special things for or about me. I have come to realize that I am crying over him. Granted, some will say "it's just a week. get over yourself." I say to them "Too bad you've never felt so good about someone that losing them hurt you this much. Sad that you have gone through life not knowing that someone did feel that way about you & more."

If I knew things would work out between us, I'd be on a plane to Portland in 2 hours. Screw work & plans right now. That's where I'd be. Hoping to run into his arms at the gate.

I Am Not Into Playing Games

So, I had sent Mr. NJ my cell # in hopes that we would not play the email game. That was Thursday night. He emailed me on Saturday and answered my questions rather bluntly. He is a "junior", does live in NJ, and that's all he wrote. He asked me to tell him about myself. So, I replied about two hours after he sent it (that's when I got it) and told him that I like a lot of things. "I'm a total girly-girl", love the color pink, adore animals, reading and going out. I can talk a little bit about a lot of things like sports, cars, and current events." Then I asked him to tell me about himself. I have not gotten a reply. I can't figure out if he's doing that "three day rule" crap. I don't play these games. I can't be bothered with someone who does. I am giving him the benefit of the doubt and will see what the next email holds, but what kind of guy asks to be set up & when he is does not use the number provided? What is it with men?

I have not heard back from Cowboy at all. I had sent him that text and then called him (foolishly) at 5 am on Friday, but he has not replied at all. He said he wanted to "be friends", and a friend should call you back.

But I am becoming more and more wise as to who true friends are and who just calls when they don't have anyone else to go out with. I am tired of these people and hope to be rid of them in 2007.

Leave It To CodeGirl

My co-worker has talked & talked about setting me up with some guy....any guy.....and had her sister mentionme to the sister's boss (confused already? I am) and he was supposed to email me. She told me two weeks ago he'd email me. Nothing. She sent me an email yesterday asking if AJ contacted me at all. I said "Nope". So, I come home tonight and look in my email & there it is. Very short. Very direct. Very New Jersey. ??? Thre was no mention of him being in Dirty Jersey. What the heck? I never saw Cowboy when he was in Commack---30 minutes away. What the heck do you do with 2 bridges?

I know I sound selfish & picky. I want someone close by so I can see them all of the time (if I want to...which I probably won't want to but still).

All it said was that he heard a lot about me and would love to get to know me better. He hoped it was okay to email me since that what he was told to do. I sent it back that it was okay...asked what the "J" stood for in his name & if he lives in NJ. I also included my number so that I don't have the NYU guy sour cream fiasco again. Remember that from March? UGH! (Still reeling over it.)

Let's see what tomorrow brings.

Don't get me wrong............I have been crying since last night about Cowboy. I almost didn't make it to work because I couldn't see out of my puffy eyes. I sent him a text this morning telling him how I always needed him & had planned a lifetime of needing him. I have not heard back form him at all. Keep in mind he goes to work at 2pm. That's 5 pm our time. So what......you can't call me or text me in the day? I am only good for your free minutes? Again, it's more of the "nobody out there to feel that way for me again" than it is anything else. Selfish? Yes. But I am getting too old to be alone much longer. I want a family & need to get moving on with that fast if it's to happen. Cowboy always talked about our "family". I had names all picked out and everything. Yup. Rambling.

Love Doesn't Live Here Anymore

Well, that's it. Cowboy & I are over. Completely. I know some people think we've been done for quite some time now, but the truth is that we weren't. We were still in love with eachother. We wanted to try and make things work. We talked all of the time. But, it is no longer.

He's been talking very differently to me for the last three weeks. Three weeks ago, I listened to him talk about this woman (slut) that he works with & how she would call him & text him & never leave him alone. I said that he should ask her out on a date if he wants to. He became angry with me and said "Why do you say these things to me? You know I don't want anyone else." I felt bad & apologized and the next morning sent him a text that said "you know you are still my best friend and I am still in love with you". He sent one back (when he woke up & got it hours later) "Thak you so much. I needed to know that."

Ever since then the calls are sporadic. Granted, he just got promoted and his hours have changed. He's been hanging out with her and other people & having fun & helping to pick up the pieces of their lives. I pointed this out to him last Friday and he wasn't too happy. I got the bum's rush & he was off to pick them all up & go out. He said "I may call you later".

I didn't hear from him & had called him and that conversation was a cold one. I put him on the spot and asked him what was wrong & what was going on with us. He said nothing was wrong and nothing had changed between us. I told him how I was jealous that he's always driving these people around & helping to straighten up their lives & could never help me with mine. I told him I was always picking up the pieces of his life but he never jumped like this for me. He said that's because I don't need anyone to do that. I said that was not true and he said it was. I didn't need him. (I am tired of people saying this to me. I do need them. I may not be a total basketcase but I have noticed when I am they are never there for me.)

I said to him last night that I needed reassurance that we were okay. I got nothing. I became suspicious. He called & left a message today that he was out shopping & would be busy the rest of the night. I called him back just now & managed to catch him on his way home. I told him that I still needed something from him and he said "I care about you a lot". That is VERY DIFFERENT from "i am in love with you". I said this & he was quiet. I said "How come I can give you that reassurance but get nothing from you? I need you now to pick up a piece and you can't do it." Still---nothing. I said "Just say it. You love me but are not in love with me." He said "Yes. That's it. I just didn't want to hurt you." ???!!!!!!!!!!!?????????? You what!?! I told him how he basically used me like every other guy I dated and now that he has his life settling in & there's no room for me he can move on. He said he didn't use me. Well, what the heck do you call that? In three weeks time you change? You needed my love three weeks ago but now don't have any for me?

I hung up crying and that is what I am doing now. It was so comforting to know that someone still felt that way about me. And we did get along so well & he was such a good sport about so many tihngs. I miss him terribly every day & was so happy each night that we'd talk. I was so set on him being able to move to Ohio (where I'd consider moving to if I could get a job) or back here (so I wouldn't have to move at all) and now it's over. Seeing him in September was reassuring that I mattered. That we made eachother feel good. I was all set to hit "Purchase" on a ticket to Portland for Jan 2 while we talked. Thank goodness I didn't do that.

Happy F*^*%@n holidays to me.

Mr. Sandman

I am so tired. I don't know why. I am falling asleep before 11:30 and not waking up to the alarm. I had to move it acros the room so I would stop shutting it off in my sleep. I almost fell asleep in class today. They were peer-editing so I had no real reason to interact with them, but when you feel your head bobbing forward, it can't be good. I don't like to be tired. For me it usually means the onset of a CFS episode, which can last for weeks at a time.

To compound the exhaustion, I have a migraine that is so terrible I can barely function. It's been pounding away since 12 today. I had to cancel plans for this evening because I am a waste. I can't drive like this & noise (in general) is driving me insane.

And, the situation with Cowboy has not improved. The depression from this compounds this whole issue. I fear losing what seems to be the last relationship I will have for awhile..........even if it hasn't really been a relationship this last year.

I am just asking for a restful night's sleep, the relief of this migraine, and ....................lost my train of thought with the pounding in my head. I'll try to remember what it is I wanted to write.

I Have No Right To Be...........But I Am

Cowboy called me while I was in the city on Wednesday night. I asked him if I could call him back when I was home & not battling the NYC lunacy. He said I probably wouldn't be able to get in touch with him because he was headed over to a friend's house to "comfort her". She was just fired from her job & he ....indirectly.... was getting that position. He felt bad & was heading over to her apartment to help cheer her up. He griped about the company & I thought 'Uh-Oh. He'll quit'. That's what he does. Something ticks him off & he jumps ship.

Anyway, I figured I'd try to get in touch with him anyway. It went to voicemail. No biggie. But my eyes went green. He never hauled himself out to console me. Not like this. And he isn't dating this woman....as far as I know. I left him a message & said I'd talk to him Thursday.

Well, no word from him on Thursday. There is a 3-hour difference between us & he works from 1-9...2-10? I don't know. And that's his time. Which means it's approaching 12 or 1 am here. I am not awake. So we wouldn't be able to talk.

Friday rolls around & there's no message, text, or missed call. I called him and thought I'd hear back. Nope. I sent a text. He replied his time 11 pm. Umm.....you get breaks. Jerk. Can't call me and we're friends+ for five years but you can run ragged for this woman you know three months. Yup.

He called me about an hour ago...10:30 his time. He's on the road to pick up people and head out to some Winter Festival. Sounds nice! I kidded around with him that I couldn't get him out at that hour. He didn't find it funny. I could get him out but if I wanted to be on the road by 9 am he was leaving Commack at 9:05 to still make the 25/30 minute drive to me. So I have a right to be bitter...just a bit. I then said I thought I hadn't heard from him because he went to console this woman & felt so bad that he 1) proposed to her to make her feel better & they are on their way to Reno or Vegas to make it official OR 2) quit his job & he's now living with her because his family would kill him if he did that again. He said "No, I didn't quit my job. Aren't there any good scenarios?" I pointed out that he skipped over the marriage/living with her thing & he didn't reply. I am not sure if he was avoiding it because I am semi-correct or if he ignored me because I ticked him off. He usually hates when I say things like that. But those green eyes get the best of me.

He said he'd "try" to call me later on. I said he shouldn't worry about it because it's no big deal. He said "Yeah. I may try. I don't know."

It's not that I don't want him to be happy. It's not that I don't want him to have a life and a girlfriend. It's just that I want a boyfriend first. Is that so wrong of me?

Awareness

Today, December 1, 2006, is the 19th Annual AIDS Awareness Day. It is also the 25th anniversary of the discovery of the true disease and it's complications. It's so weird to live in a world now where people have grown up not realizing that this is a serious problem. It is estimated that 4 million people are diagnosed every year. Frightening.

Be aware. Take care. Stay safe.

Crappy Pasta (Amongst Other Things)

It's the first Friday of the month & that means a training session at work. Once again, they made us sit through the same mombo-gumbo that we have heard for a few years now. The difference? The background settings for the powerpoint presentation were different. Oooooooooo.................pretty. We did not get breakfast. And then they slam us with some yucky pasta alfredo (that a few people can't eat for dietary/health reasons), a limp salad, and old bread for lunch.

And now my stomach hurts. A lot.





I have got to get out.

Doin' Xmas NYC Style

Wednesday I ran home from work so I could hop on a train to the city. I had plans to do some sightseeing & shopping. What a fantastic day it was. The weather was beautiful..........high 60s? In late November? This is ridiculous but fine by me when trapsing around Manhattan.

I went up to Bryant Park, where they have set up a village for holday shopping. What surprised us was that there was a skating rink & a bar/lounge. It was a bit early to eat so I looked at all of the pretty items in the holiday village and worked my way up to Build-a-Bear. I had something I needed to get & it can only be purchased at this store.

By 4:30 I headed back to Bryant Park & grabbed a table for two outside & was ready to order. I had a country salad that had pears, candied walnuts, and bleu cheese all tossed in a balsalmic vinagrette. It was so good. I also had a hot chocolate. How could I not? I was in the park, overlooking the rink, wathcing all of the people go by & have fun. I must say, I want to go back in the evening to order a martini & share either the cheese platter or the fondue.

Wrapping things up, I headed over to Rockefeller Center to see the tree lighting. I stood out there for a bit but it was INSANE! Houling it in to Sax Fifth Avenue, I spent some time wandering there. I fould a pair of Gucci to-die-for shoes but they are $565, so I don't think my feet will have the pleasure any time soon. About ten minutes before the lighting, I headed up to the 5th floor & chatted with a salesman. He let me look out the window to watch the switch flip, but couldn't let anyone know i was there. So I hid behind the curtain and watched.

I've never seen the tree not lit before, so this was impressive. I had such a good time.

The Morning After

Stuffed beyond belief, I was one of the crazy people out by 7:00 am on Black Friday. I love love love going through the fliers on Wednesday & Thursday & planning my strategy to hit all of the stores to get the great sales. And that is exactly what I did. I went to all of the stores on my list, managed to get the items I so desired, and was home by 12:00. I was exhausted, but thrilled that I had knocked off a few things from my shopping list for this season. I even managed to get myself a cute little something (oh please--like I wouldn't?). I got my Juicy zip-up (or down as my students tell me) hoodie. I adore it because it says "For Girls Who Like Stuff" on the back. And I look cute in it, too!

I wore heels to do my shpping in...and this was my downfall. I usually go out in heels but this day it just did not work. My feet & legs were dying by 11 and when KDP called me at 6 to go out, I couldn't move. I felt so bad not going but I physically could not walk. It was nuts! I must say that this is the second time in my life where I literlly shopped 'til I dropped.

It's the Holiday Season...

Happy Thanksgiving!

Wishing you & your's a very yummy day!

Take A Number

I met JW at Friday's....heeheehee....on Friday. I haven't seen him in like two months and we had a lot to talk & laugh about. Friday's has gone through a renovation....for the better? I am not sure. We got there to ener the PACKED building and went up to the host desk. They asked "How Many?" I said "2" and they printed up a ticket. On this ticket was a number.....72. I look around, wondering why I had this number, and I see these red, flashy boards with numbers. Umm...is this a deli? Nope. It's their new system. No taking names. No handing you a pager/buzzer thingy. Youwatch for yoru number to pop up on the board & then proceed to the desk. Weird. And they were on #40 when we got our number.

We were seated realtively fast. 20 minutes was all it took. Not bad! JW & I shared lack of dating stories, I got yelled at since he was my cover for going out with Gameboy, and I showed him pcitures from Gettysburg & Cleveland.

He whined.......a lot......about not having a girl so I suggested he try to talk to the waitress, Jasmine, since he kept drooling over her. He did what I think was flirting, but left with me & no number.

JW did treat to dinner, which was totally unexpected. I do not hang out with him so taht he'll pay & pointed this out. He said I have to pay for coffee next time we get together. That's a fair trade for me.

Workshopping It

I was invited by KDP's sister, "the librarian", to come & give a two-part workshop for writing a college application essay. It paid well. It is so easy to instruct something that people want to attend. It's even nicer when they come with questions that are relevent to the topic. And, they were all 16-17 years old. Not the 19-24 yr. old yahoos I deal with.

I have so many ideas now to send out to other libraries & make this business work. Keep all fingers crossed for me!

Worlds Collide

Last night, Crak, MIU, and Mr. Baseball all met. MIU has been hounding me to get together & meet Crak since like June & it just hasn't materialized. Well, seeing as he is planning on moving to the west coast soon into the new year, it's pretty much now or never. And, his friend, Mr Baseball, wanted to put a face with my name before they go, so this was it.

We met at 8:30 at trusty old Starbucks...which I have had enough of in the last week (4 times in 6 nights..........and sat in the back at a cozy table with chairs & benches. So glad I had a bench to sit on because those chairs are too hard for me.

MIU treated to coffee for Mr. Baseball & me....Crak had already purchased her gingerbread latte..............and we sat & drank & talked. And talked. And talked. We sat there swapping stories for two hours. Lots of giggles & stories (funny & embarrassing) and just enjoyed the evening.

It was nice to see MIU twice in less than a week......something that has NEVER happened before.......and to finally meet his sidekick. Another fine bonding experience at the local Starbucks.

4 Things About Me

Chummlee sent this to me today. Crak always puts up stuff like this, so I figured why not I? Here it goes:

Four Jobs I Have Had:
1. dance instructor
2. disney cast member
3. victoria's secret salesperson
4. campbells sales rep.

Four Movies I Would Watch Over & Over:
1. clueless
2. miss congeniality
3. never been kissed
4. italian job

Four Places I Have Lived:
1................same one all these years......................

Four TV Shows I Love To Watch:
1. CSI (Las Vegas only! I can't stand the Miami or NY one)
2. Seinfeld
3. MASH
4. Frasier

Four Places I Have Been On Vacation:
1. Bahamas
2. Florida
3. Paris
4. Vermont
(I love love love to travel & had to leave so many out here.......boo)

Four Of My Favorite Foods:
1. salads
2. soup ( new fave is @ cheesecake factory~~~cream of chicken & artichoke...yummy!)
3. corn tamale cakes
4. chicken (depends on teh mood how I want it prepared)
(I love love love to eat so I had to leave out a lot here too...drat!)

Four Places I Would Like To Be Right Now:
1. the city
2. Disney
3. Paris
4. Portland

Four Things I Hate:
1. students who do not listen to me after I have said something 5 times
2. blatant stupidity
3. liars........or people who ask me something & when they are not satisfied with my response say I am lying)
4. ................no idea....................

What A Week!

I have not had a moment's peace this week. It has literally been one thing after another. Here's the recap:

Monday
Worked. Was stressed out. Forgot to finish midterm grades for classes....so had to do that. Lots of grades. Low grades. One whole class failed their midterm. Yup. Not one passed it. Had to go to the doctor because my eye was swelling shut. Itchy. Painful. Not good when you are vain & have people staring at you as your job.

Tuesday
Worked even more. Tried to finish the midterm grades. Went out to dinner with the family. Had a manicure appt. that night. It ran late. Got home late. Had to put together something for the workshop I was teaching on Thursday night that I had yet to plan for. Oops.

Wednesday
Went in to work. Had to teach. It was also registration day. These days are nightmares that we are awake for. Horrific. It was so hot in the room & people with their grimy germs were coughing & sneezing all over the place. Add the heat & no circulation and you have one LARGE incubator. Gross. Got home after 8 pm that night. Found my brother very sick. Had to take him to the hospital emergency room at 9:30. Didn't get home til after midnight. He's on he mend now, not well but getting there---slowly.

Thursday
Couldn't function because of the hospital run the night before. I was thrown off completely. I only went in to one job to teach one of my two classes (and cover Crak's class too) and I cancelled the farm so I could sleep. Which I did.

I also had the workshop at the library that night. It went well. Met the MIU after for coffee & got home WAY LATER than planned. I could barely keep my eyes open & hit the pillow ten minues later. I was so gone until late the next morning.

Friday
Had a meeting. Napped. Ran around doing errands. Met Crak for Unos and Starbucks that night. Went home & watched "Cars" with the patient. I love that movie.

Saturday
Went in to the city bright & early to attend the 9th Annual Chocolate Show. Ate my weight in chocolate....not good since I weigh more this year than last year. Oh well. It was all very yummy & so worth it. Didn't get home til late afternoon......after having walked off a lot of what I had eaten (wishful thinking) and tried to unwind but didn't have time.

Met KDP for coupon shopping & Starbucks. Got home late.

Today?
Trying to function. Heading out to see the Ulitmate Shopper for a few hours. Have a lot of things I need to do before this week kicks up into gear. I hope I get a second wind in here somewhere.

If you need to get in touch with me...or want to try and schedule something......................call....I'll be driving somewhere!

Untitled = Unimpressed

'Twas the Nightmare Before Christmas
and all through the show,
I just kept thinking "Why me?
Can't I just go?"

The glasses they pinched
the floors were so sticky
The characters too creepy
and the seats so itchy.


Okay, so this is not ever going to be published as the "Deranged Words to "Twas The Night Before Christmas", but it was my night. I saw the movie for the first time ever. I must say, I did not need to see it. I am not into spooky, mangled-looking characters. I am not a Tim Burton fan at all. I know this for a fact. His other works, "Corpse Bride", "Edward Scissorhands", "Ed Wood", never enticed me. But, this was a 3-D experience and I was interested in seeing it for that element alone. Meh. I should have saved my $11.25 for a tropical martini.

The nonrelationship continues

So, the greek sent me an im last week, to which I replied with a text over six hours later. My attempt to keep him waiting as he does the world. I knew I wouldn't hear back from him for awhile, so I didn't expect anything. As I am forgetting all of it, I get a phonecall (well, it turned into a message because I do not answer my cell at 3 am because I sleep right through it), and the message says "Hey Tanya. I just got off of work and wanted to see how things are with you. Give me a call when you get a chance to talk. Ciao."

Why? Why would you call me at 3 am? Why would I even be on your mind at 3 am? And this is not a "booty call" kind of thing because that is not me. So can you tell me why? Ofcourse not! Because that is just stupid!

I so need a date.

So Many Nice Things!

Halloween is not my day. I have never liked it. Even as a kid. I remember going trick-or-treating only because my friends were going & I have this annoying sweet tooth. I would never even ring the doorbell. It's just not for me.

And I have never had a successful Halloween. Until yesterday. I had five nice things happen.................some little, some big--all nice!

A student in my first class remembered (somehow) that I like smarties candy, so she brought me a handful. I won a swarovski ipod nano (that I pick up today) and got the call yesterday afternoon. A student who loves to bake kept telling me she'd bake me something & brought in an angelfood cake on the last night of classes. Eight students asked to take a class with me again, two shook my hands, and one woman gave me a hug.

Finally, Code Girl and I went out after class to celebrate. We went to this really cute italian restaurant & had good pasta & drinks & conversation. When the check came, she grabbed it & paid. I protested a lot, but was afraid to insult her, so I had to let it go. She did not have to do that, and it was beyond sweet of her to do so.

All in all, my Halloween was spooktacular!

Boys Are Dumb

I was finally able to catch the last two episodes of 'Laguna Beach' and I was so frustrated while watching them! The first episode is "Break-Up Season". Poor Rocky! She had been dating Alex (a senior) and things seemed to be going so well. Then, we cut to Rocky & Tessa sitting on the beach talking about how Rocky had been freaking out & asked Alex to come over. HE said no. She was angry that he wouldn't come over when she needed him & they fought about this on the phone.

Cut to Alex talking with his friend and he says that Rocky is pretty 'narly'...this is a bad thing....and that he doesn't want to be involved in suc a serious relationship. Now he just has to tell her this.

Cut to Rocky and Alex on the beach. They are discussing their relationship. She says she'll work on changing because she really cares about him. He says she won't change. She says "that's what relationships are all about. We change for the other person to make things work". They end with Alex saying "we'll see how this goes".

Alex is next seen grabbing a bite to eat with a friend & they run into Lexie &
her friend Rachel. He introduces himself as the girls say "You're Raquel's boyfriend!". He mentions the bonfire & says "You guys should really come".

Next we see Rocky & Alex arrive at the bonfire separately. He goes over & hugs her and puts his hand on her shoulder. Then he goes off to chill with his friends. She asks him to take a walk with her & he decides to break up with her. Right there. He goes back to the group and, in front of Rocky, asks Lexie & Rachel for their numbers. JERK!

Episode 2 is "Three-Day Rule". I don't care to focus on Tessa's nonrelationship with Derrick nor her convo. with Chase about how guys have 3day rules where they don't have to talk to their girlfriend and the girl shouldn't be concerned until it hits three days of no contact. Dumb. Anyway, Chase's band 'Open Air Stereo' finally has a gig to play. The whole LBHS is going to be there.....shocker.....and Alex decides to call Rachel to see if she & Lexie want to go with him & his friend. Rachel says she'll call & let him know. He tells his friend that 'yeah--the girls are coming'......ummm....no. Rachel didn't say that. This is where we see Alex has issues understanding reality.

Rocky & Tessa go to the gig with Nick...a friend from school & Cameron's close bud. They look so cute & are out just to have fun. Rocky is talking with Nick & another guy on and off & trying to have fun. Alex & friend show up with no girls in tow. Lexie & Rachel decided he was pretty lame to take their numbers right after breaking up with Raquel. Thank god these girls have sense in them!

Alex sees Rocky having fun & starts telling people she's a slut. As he & his friend leave, Rcoky goes outside and hears him say "She's so desperate for attention. What a slut" and begins to cry.

So, wait. He can dump her in front of a whole crowd & ask other girls for their number right in front of her. And when the girls don't respond to going to a concert with him & he sees his ex.....the girl HE dumped.....out trying to have fun with other people, she's the slut but he isn't a loser? How does this work in the fantasy world of Alex?

Sad thing is that many of these men never mature. They will always resort to calling the girl a slut because they are so insecure. Get a grip.

Man Plan

KDP, Crak & I need some kind of "man plan". You know~~~a plan to find a man. We udnerstand that they are out there. We know they sit near us in restaurants, infront of us in theaters, across the aisle on the train, and even pass a comment our way every now and then.

But this doesn't turn into anything. And the ones we find? Well, just see Crak's recap of our walk back to Penn from Sushi Samba. Yes. Those are the men we find---or should I say find us.

We said we need a plan. Now I am pleading for one. So...pass this on to your friends, coworkers, and random people you think may be able to assist three sweet, fun, educated women on a (sort of) mission.

Thanks!

Is It A Bad Sign When You Are Dreaming About Whole Classes?

I am zonked out. Beyond tired. Frazzled. Confused. And it is all because of the 250+ students I deal with in two days. They are so needy & demanding & rude & can't seem to remember the most basic things. They are driving me nuts!

It is to the point that I actually had a dream about my entire class last night. The classroom was not our room. We were in some house. I was teaching. They were working on projects. A student brought their tank of 3 gerbils. I don't know why. One guy had on pajamas. And I lost the key to the room & couldn't find my purse.....which was in the basement. ??????????

What does it all mean?

Smouldering Embers

The Greek---who will be called Gameboy from now on--texted me the other night. It started out with the usual "heys" and "whatcha doin's?" and I got tired of it & called him since we were chatting anyway.

I immediately confronted him with the "you said something the last time I saw you.....(the whole song with meaningful lyrics thing)......and told me to call & we'd talk about it & then you did the usual thing of freak & hide." I got exactly what I expected from him---the "work" excuse. It's an excuse & it's not. Youhave to know what he does & how much he works to know it isn't an excuse but can be a great way for him to hide from things, too.

So he stated that he said what he did for a few reasons. The first is that it felt good to be together & flirty. The next was that we are both lonely & this is comfortable. The third is that he wants to be with someone who is "worth a damn and a good person and caring and with him for him". And that person is me......in his eyes. And I told him that this is all great & sweet but that he had said twice to me in the last two months taht if anything happens between us it won't change our relationship (nearly nonexistent) and I said "great". And here he goes putting everything in that he said I shoudln't. Hmmmmmmmmm.

I still want to hang out with him. I still want to kiss him. I still want to enjoy Raspberry BAcardis & Sprite while flirting. But that's all I want. I hope we can work this out so that we are both happy.

The Male Species is an Odd One

So--called the Greek last Monday to talk about that whole "listen to the song" thing & try to talk this out. We chatted briefly but he said he'd rather talk about it all in person. So I said fine. He could call me to set something up to do so, but I was done calling him to talk about this.

He didn't call.

Big shock. I knew it was partially because he likes to be in control & we'll talk when he's ready to talk. The other factor was his job. He's running the whole show these past two weeks & doesn't have time normally to talk so why would he when it's all on his shoulders?

I texted him last Saturday to come out with Crak & me to Sushi Samba.....but he never replied. So I had called and left a message that we can hang out & ignore all of that sappy stuff he said. Just do the "friend thing". Still no response.

I stopped trying to communicate. I got a text Thursday night (almost two weeks after the whole song thing): "You still up?" I sent back "Yes". He asked me what I was doing & I said "Gameboy--I am relaxing" He said he wasn't trying to play games & that it was work & all & he wants to talk soon. I said uh-huh sure. He said he does. I said "Well...I have to get going...goodnight" And he sends it back "Sweet Dreams".

That was Thursday night. Again....almost two weeks after the evening out. Let's see how long it takes for the next series of texts to begin.

Again---I am not looking for anything other than evenings out & good times. This will never work as a relationship & I don't want it to. It's a good "filler" for now.

I Can't Take Them Anymore!

This is the part where I vent about needy students. Even my adults are pouncing on me when I walk into the building.....when I enter or exit a classroom.....are interrupting my classes that are in session.....or are waiting to catch me as I try to leave the building. They are running things past me that 8 year olds could do with less guidance.

And I have a couple of admireres that are really getting to the point that I am being harsh & it isn't working to drive them away. They need to get over the "teacher" fantasy thing & get a life.

I have kicked out four students from various classes in five weeks....I believe that is a new record. Even for me!

Sorry----I have not been home at night in over two weeks & too many thoughts are flooding my brain to be coherent at this point. All I know is taht Crak has the Spring schedule and I am still trying to deal with the fall. Don't make me go back there! I will go crazy!

Ummm......What Is It Again That I Ordered?

Crak & I have been meaning to go into the city for a real "night out". You know, the sophisticated, get dressed up, have dinner & be seen, kind of thing. She had mentioned this place, Sushi Samba, to me ages ago & I have read a number of reviews about it & was very interested in going.

We finally committed to Saturday night. We hopped trains & met at Penn around 7:15 pm. We were actually doing the dining after 8pm plan. Very unusual for us. I had not eaten anything since 1:30 & was so excited to be eating at this place that I was all set to run there. It's located on Lex. btwn 19th & 20th & we decided to walk. We talked the entire way & some of the things we said Crak pointed out that we may end up on "Overheard in NY" one day. I could only hope. Anyway, we got to SushiSamba & were surprised to have only a 20 minute wait.

This place is very small.....very loud....and very trendy. Oh so happy to be there!

We went all out. We ordered "small plates" and sushi to follow. She ordered some tuna & crusted bread hting while I ordered a pastel. This was an empanada filled with shitake mushrooms & other stuff on a layer of corn salsa. We had ordered samba juices (a mix of like 5 alcohols) and had worked our way through a bit of the drink on the empty stomach and the small plates came out. The waiter said the names of the items & put them infront of us. We each dug in. Mine was good. Crak kept looking at it...while saying "Oh my god this is so good" and followed up her moan with "I think you have mine". I didn't think so because what I had looked like mushrooms sliced thin. Until I took taht next bite. A strong fishy after-taste followed. My face cringed. She looke dup to catch this & said "It's tuna". I said "Yeah--we're switching" and we passed the plates over the very tiny table. Tahnk god my empanada was fantastic. It quickly took away that fishy taste that I do not appreciate.

This is why we are not good at going to new places with unrecognizable food. We are too busy talking to remember what the heck it is we wanted & then some of us don't even get it until we've chewed it............EW!

The small plates were cleared & the sushi came out. I had california rolls & I believe she had more tuna. With the sushi came chopsticks. I can not use those darn wooden sticks. My hands just won't conform to the position that is required to hold them. I was waiting to flip the cali. roll onto the table next to us. Crak was patient & tried numerous times to teach me.....to no avail. I managed but I would starve if I had to do that on a regular basis.

We even decided to splurge and get dessert......some chocolate banana caramel thing with vanilla bean icecream. It sounded so good. It was just okay. I liked some of the ingredients. She liked others. Together we polished it off.

When we were finished, we started the walk back up to Penn. We talked the WHOLE way --- until we got to a light where we had to wait to cross. This is when two drunk, stoned, toothless older men stopped us...and it went something like this: "Ladies. We just wanted to wish you a good week and a good saturday." Our reply: "Oh...thank you" (insert giggles because we are that pathetic that we are taking compliments from toothless, drunk, stoned older men). He continued "And now we are going to go drink, smoke some pot, and look at more pretty women". To which we reply "That sounds good & that sounds like a plan". People who were also waiting on teh corner to try & cross watched this unfold and were smiling at the lunacy of it all. We sped across the street as soon as the light changed.

BAck at Penn we grabbed Starbucks and talked even more. I was so proud of us for 1. following through 2. going to such a tredny place 3. doing the whole evening out thing in the city.

I can't wait for our next adventure!

Doin' It California Style

KDP & I went to California Pizza last Friday. I got "the call" at 4:30 asking if I was busy. Nope. So she suggested Cali. Pizza because she had a gift card there (fromme....lol) and had a craving.

We met up around 6:30 and got a table very quickly. I was shocked because anything in the Westbury area anytime after 5 pm is nuts & has a wait.

We had so much to catch up on, even though I had seen her the week before. We decided to split an appetizer of flautas & a santa fe pizza. We were so busy talking & about 25 minutes later, the pizza arrives. We looked at eachother & the woman dropping off the meal & said "Umm....we ordered appetizers too". She said "Oh, okay". With that, a manager came over and said "Oh! You ordered an appetizer and your pizza came out first? Sometimes that happens in the kitchen. Some things cook faster than others." Yeah. Right. The main course always arrives before the appetizer.

Our waiter showed up five minutes later with the flautas and said "So sorry. They're on the house." Mmmmmmmmm................they were so good & tasted even better because now we didn't have to pay for them! Yippee!

We left there close to 8 and headed to the Source to check out the sales, buy a cd or two, and see the almost complete Christmas display at Fortunoff. I LOVE their decorations each year & enjoy just strolling through the trees, ornaments, and lawn decor. It's so peaceful & gets me ready for the madness that is soon to ensue.

We finished up our evening with Starbucks and talked more. My jaw was so tired when I finally drove home. And, as always, got to enjoy good fodd & good company.

A Long Time Passing

Crak asked me on the phone tonight when was I posting again. I have emails from some people, too, saying they haven't seen anything & wondered if I dropped off the face of the Earth or something. I love it when people email me instead of posting a comment. It's too cute.

The next few posts will be to catch up myself, this site, and those who are curious. Ah~~~gotta love a Saturday night filled with nothing but posting stuff on the net!

Playing With Fire

The Greek & I have been texting back & forth for a month now. He's been wanting to get together to "hook up". Umm......I'm not that kind of woman. But, the flirting is fun. So we continue it. We were going to meet up after Crak & I were done at Sweeney's on Friday night. I got there at 10:55 & he was to be there at 11:00. I waited til 11:10/15 and took off. He calls at 11:35 and begs me to come out. I said no.

That was the end of it for Friday.

But, I get a call Saturday to hang out. I stated "We're hanging out. That's it. Right?" He said "Sure". I have been dying for a good make-out session & when he pushed the issue of hooking up, I said this was my limit.

I should back up a bit & point out that with the flirting texts, we had two real conversations on the phone & he said --in very clear terms-- if anything happnes between us, it's just for that time. There is no relatiohship to come of this. No dating/boyfriend-girlfriend/future labels. I said great because his family & lifestyle are not for me.

Well, we met up for a drink & appetizer last night. He was very sweet. Very flirty. Very touchy-feely. I asked him if he was okay. He said "Better than okay". He told me he was so happy we were hanging out. He was so happy to see me. He kept staring at my eyes & telling me how he never forgot how looking into them made him feel.

Ummmmmm................what happened to just hanging out? No feelings? Just fun?

We were talking on & on & all-of-a-sudden he was quiet. So I finished chewing, sipped my yummy Bacardi Raspberry & Sprite and turned to look at him. Which is when he leaned in and kissed me. ?!?!? Ummm.......not just a random kiss. Like those movie-kisses. Soft, sweet, and with something behind it. Oh darn. Here it goes.

We finished up & he walked me......holding me the whole way......to my car. He opened the door for me & then kissed me again. Well, I wanted to kiss someone(anyone who is good at it) for awhile.......so I told him to get in.

We sat & chatted & kissed. He asked me why do I want to even see him after the past we have. I told him that we've had some pretty good conversations in the last few months, so why not go out for a good time, good drinks, and a few laughs? Life's too short to not enjoy, right?

He turned on the radio. I had my Nickelback cd in. I am addicted to their "Far Away" song & before I could explain why it was on repeat, he said "I love this song. It makes me think of you. Listen to it. Closely. And then call me tomorrow to talk." With that, he kissed me again & got out of the car.

What? I know the words. "Far away for far too long. I love you. I've loved you all along. I've missed you. Been far away for far too long."

So, you tell me.

Crak Left Me The BEST Voicemail Ever!

It went like this:

(in a totally straight voice...I am not sure how she did it): "Mel peeed on George's couch. Call me back."

???????????????????????????????????????????????????????

Did I hear her correctly? I couldn't try to listen to it again because I had already doubled over laughing at just the thought of hearing this.

The president of our company had a barbeque at his house on Friday from 4-12. I didn't go because he & I are on-the-outs. I was not about to be hypocritical & go so I stayed home from it. Crak & I had plans to meet up afterwards. She attended from 5:30ish -7:30ish. We then grabbed barstools at Sweeneys & she told me all about the party. Pretty uneventful.

Until she went to work Saturday morning. Where she heard about all of the action that took place after she had left. The head of human resources was pretty drunk when she saw him earlier in the evening. It turns out he was so wasted that he had to relax on the couch & --it seems that-- he was not coherent enough to realize he had to use the bathroom. So when he "came to" he was all wet. EWWW!!!!! He then went into the bathroom, where people became concerned because he was spending too much time in there. A couple of people found out what he did & tried to help him out to a car to drive him home. The story spread like wildfire & a lone person did not hear it. For when HR came out this person yelled "Why are your pants wet?" To which another voice responded "He peed! He peed!" I was dying by this point in the story.

Oh but it doesn't end there. The president's secretary was there......drunk....and asking people if they wanted to smoke marijuana with her. She had it in her purse. At the president's home. The person relaying the story to Crak swears that when she left the secretary & three others were out there smoking away....and it didn't smell like nicotine. Hmmmmm...........and someone jokingly (sort of) asked the prez. if he'd be looking for a new secretary on Monday.

What is it with people? This is a work function! At the prez.'s home! I never can understand how people can get drunk at work functions. Or smoke pot at them either. And who will he send these people to on Monday? Isn't this the kind of thing that you'd send people to the HR guy for? But, it WAS the HR guy who wet the couch!

I keep hearing two Seinfeld episodes in my head: "Poppie & JErry's couch" & the one where George goes to the cabin for the weekend with Susan & leaves his car in the Yankees parking lot & Steinbrenner thinks he's dead & Frank Costanza leaves the message "Jerry. It's Frank. Steinbrenner's here. George is dead. Call me back."

I can't wait for Monday!

What the #@%%$* Is Wrong With People?!?

I had to pick up my parents at the airport on Sunday night. I never get lost at Kennedy & this time I did. I missed the entrance to the Belt PArkway East & ended up going west to the first possible exit. I got off there & looped around back towards Kennedy. I looked ALL OVER to see what was around because I was driving my mother's car & I amnot familair with it. It was clear & I was able to get onto the highway when -- all of a sudden -- a motorcycle comes FLYING up on my left & was apparently furious that I took his spot on the road. He zips past us & then slows down enough that he is pacing my front end of teh left tire. He looks back & I am freaking out because he is soooo close & I was trying to swerve right so as not to hit him. He then KICKS the car! YES!!!! KICKS IT! F%$#&*^N -------- I am not saying it but you know what I want to scream.

Why is it people are filled with this entitlement crap that they can do what they want & others have to bow down to their garbage?

Saw A Fox at Foxwoods

I know~~~corny title. It's the only clean one I can come up with. KDP & I went to Foxwoods Casino on Friday. We left right on time....1:30 & got there around 4:15. Smooth drive. No problems. No traffic. No rain. So opposite of the previous weekend.

We pulled in to the wrong entrance of the casino & had to navigate driving around the humongous complex to find our hotel. I didn't know (until I booked it) that Foxwoods is two hotels attached by stores & restaurants + a hotel nearby. We tried going to the Rainmaker side....where the very nice valet told us how to get to the Grand Pequot side. After almost getting wiped out by a bus, we found the parking garage & made in inside. It was about a mile hike to the Front Desk where we checked in.

The room was very nice. Spacious, clean, great set-up + a fridge! I was so excited because I always bring water & snapple and this allowed me to chill it for the rest of the night or for the drive home the next day.

We didn't settle in for very long because we were starving & had to grab dinner & be back in the room by 8:00. So we went to the Buffet that they had going. I am not a fan of getting food from where so many others are mingling with their hands & arms & germs near what I will be eating, but it looked well-protected & had so much to choose from that I was in.

We ate SO MUCH! I started with their salad bar.....ofcourse......and finished that pretty quickly. I moved on to the Chinese buffet they had going. I put a portion of everything that they ahd up there on my plate & each dish was fantastic. Some of it was the best I have had of that particular dish. Even the fried rice was the best I have had.

I moved on to the pasta station & tried their penne. Good. I wasn't too into the pasta (carbs and all). Besides, I can get pasta anywhere. I can even cook it myself. So I passed on the rest.

The International Buffet came next. I had some chicken, two types of potatoes, a stuffed pepper, and veggies. Yummy! I even went to the Seafood Bar next where I got shrimp & crab legs. It was all good but I am not a fan of eating with my hands & had to shell these items. YUCK! But they tasted good.

Did you think I wouldn't have room for the Dessert Bar? No Way! Ofcourse I did. I had the build-your-own sundae & a piece of chocolate cake. Both fantastic. I got more than my money's worth here.

Back to the room to change & wash up & get ready because we were here to see Nick Lachey. The Fox Theater that they have is a great venue. It's small, very comfortable, and you can see the person performing without monitors. This is quality.

It started at 9:00 with some opening act called Dirty Blonde. The strange thing is that none of them have light hair. They all had brown or black hair. I have never heard of them, nor did I know any songs. They sang for half an hour & then left. We all thought Nick was up next. But, no. Someone named Joanna performed for the next 1/2 hour set. She looked & sounded just like the girl from Dirty Blonde & I said this to KDP. She agreed & we both pondered the whole thing. I couldn't understand one word coming from her mouth but she has apparently been on MTV. I have yet to see her--but I am willing to wait.

Finally, around 10:15 Nick came out. He looked SO GOOD. Dark jeans, maroon shirt, and black blazer. He sang about four songs & then removed his jacket. This produced a lot of screaming & requests to "take it all off". There he was, dark jeans & maroon short sleeves barely covering his TREMENDOUS biceps. It's all about the arms people.

He sang a few more songs & then took off the tshirt. This revealed a black (I hate this phrase) wife-beater...and yet again...many pleaded to have him remove it all.

He sang a 98degrees song and sang two from his upcoming album. They were borderline porno songs....but I can't wait to get that cd. He then went to change again & came back out in the traditional black pinstripe button down shirt with the jeans & looked fantastic. He sang a Led Zeppelin song & the remainder of his album. Lachey was a great entertainer. He pleased the masses. The age range was from 8-78.....even groups of senior citizen women (late 60s-early 70s) were there with their tour shirts on to support him. Also, the audience was about 20% male. Fathers, brothers, boyfriends, husbands......all there drinking beer & watching the show. It was amazing.

The show ended close to midnight & KDP & I decided to explore the casino. We wandered a bit, got a drink at the bar & then played some of the slots that looked interesting. I think we wrapped it up around 1:30.

Classic KDP moment: there are two double beds in the room. We settle into our respective beds for the night. I hear (in the darkness) "This bed seems small". I respond to the voice in the dark "They're double beds". She says "Whose? Your's or mine?" HAHAHAHAHA I lost it. She then cursed me out & threatened to throw stuff at me but she knew I wouldn't give it back. I am more apt to keep it (if it's something I want) or chuck it into the hallway to watch the other person have to go get it.

We check out the next morning & head over to the outlets. Tanger has an outlet on 95 in CT. and it was a good stopping point. We wandered through there for a bit & then continued home. We hit the Bronx & KDP detoured to Manhattan to Build-A-Bear because it was double-points weekend & she wanted to rack up her stuff fur stuff points.

We also stopped for Panera & enjoyed their new Crispanis. I rolled in around 8:30 having yet another good weekend. This is 4 out of 5 weekends that I have been away. I have no plans to go anywhere this weekend. Who is up for a trip?

Boyds & Baskets & Bears, Oh My!

KDP & I had plans to drive to Gettysburg after my dumb meeting on Friday. We were on our way to Boyds Bears & their 2nd Annual Longaberger Basket Festival. I was beyond excited.

I was supposed to pick her up around 5:30 to begin the 4 hour drive there. But, if you remember clearly, the weather was not cooperating & it was pouring. What should have taken 30 minutes to drive took an hour. I only got there at 6:00. She ran out to the car, threw her bags in & off we went.

We did not get out of the NY area until close to 8:30. We literally crawled on the Southern & the Belt to the bridge. Staten Island was not any better. We just sat there for the longest time. I had been hoping to cross into Pennsylvania to eat dinner at Cracker Barrel at 7ish but that was not happening. We ended up stopping at the first place we saw----a rest stop in NJ & having to choke down Burger King. EW! It was horroible. And we were tired. And we were not even close to our destination.

We got on the road & drove. And drove. And drove.

We should have arrived at 9:30 had all things gone according to the plan. We got there at 12:15 am. UGH! I couldn't see straight. All I wanted to do was get uot of the car & stretch.

I tried to sleep, but it wasn't easy. I had that car/humming thing going on with my head & body. You know the kind--when you've been in a car WAY TOO LONG and the momentum hasn't stopped even though the vehicle has?

We got up the next morning & headed on over to the Homestead. We got there at 10 am & figured that would be more than enough time before our basket-making session at 1:00. We were so wrong. There was so much more to see & do than anticipated & we had to scarf down lunch at 12:30 to just make it to our weaving stations.

We had made reservations to weave our own baskets. It was so cool! We were side-by-side & Eric was supposed to be helping us. He started me off & then went to KDP. All-of-a-sudden, he disappears. The man helping the stations next to us, Tom, said that Eric gets frightened by "pretty girls" and that's why he was scarce. Nice save. Tom was nice & he & I chatted a lot about my job, his job, and just how much time it takes to actually become a skilled basket weaver.

It all sounds corny, but these baskets are quality & way too expensive. But so pretty that it is easy to get conned into becoming a rep. for the company.

We didn't leave the homestead until 4:00 & still had to drive 4+ hours home. We were so lucky that there wasn't any traffic coming home & it was smooth sailing. I believe I stumbled into the front door--basket & all---around 9:30.

I had a basket that I made (I keep saying I am now one step away from becoming an underwater basket weaver) filled with bears & birds, and kittens, oh my!

So--anyone want to buy a basket?

Convocation Crap

The last post I left off with should have detailed the first major meeting of teh new academic year. It's great. Twice a year we are forced to sit through the same lies that never change. Crak, Blessed Mary, & I did not pay much attention to what was going on. We write notes, play hangman, and Crak has been bringing Time Out NY with her to entertain & plan the nights out that keep escaping us.

The meeting ended rather early before the lunch break. Our group does not like to waste time & we wanted to move up our afternoon dept. meeting to 11:30 so that we could eat lunch & then (hopefully) go. We volunteered Crak to go ask the chair if we could have the meeting & the chair said no. ??? Why, you ask? She needed "down time". Time to relax & unwind from the 2 1/2 hours we had been sitting there. I understand this, but come on. Who doesn't want to get out early?

Disruntled, Crak & I went to the cafeteria where we tried to put together tables for our department. SOmehow--a bunch of oddly-mixed stragglers sat with us. Crak was so hoping that the chair would do her socially inept routine & tell them that they ahd to leave, but this didn't happen, much to our dismay.

Surprisingly enough, while eating burnt pasta (I know--don't ask) the chair held our meeting over lunch. SHOCKER! It was quick, short, and sweet.

We had a stupid fire drill & one more info session & then it'd be time to bolt. I was leaving soon after this pointless meeting to go to Gettysburg & Crak asked me if I was "giving an adress". I did not get this when she asked....I blame it on having had to sit through the mindless drivvel.

They're Back

So it was Day One back at -----------------. I can't even bear to say the name of the location. You all know where I was. Oh yeah. And it was brutal. The classes are HUGE. The students were not always told to go to the correct classroom on their schedules. How can a place that is in business as a higher ed. institution get so many simple things wrong. I had two classes there beginning at 8:25......then ran to do 2 at the farm.......then went back til 10:30 at night at ---. I am so tired. I am too old to be keeping such a rigorous schedule.

I could do thins a couple of years ago. But it does take it's toll on me. I crashed 10 minutes afer getting home. This will keep up for the next eight weeks. UGH!

I must say that I have moved into a new cube. It's spacious. It has cabinetry. It has a phone. It's MINE! And--even funner--Crak is an aisle away on the other side of someone else's cube. We're going to drive him crazy. As it is, she came into my cube to find out my number & then called me. I could hear her over the cubes & on the phone. We were cracking up! I feel so bad for the cubby people. Crak & I agreed (in fits of giggles) that they will petition to have us crammed back in to some random office together because there will be no rest. Ah--good times.

A Moment of Silence

As everyone knows, today marked the 5th annivesary of the day our world changed. My heart & prayers go out to all on this day.

Continuing the Literacy Campaign

I just read and assessed the diagnostics from the farm tonight. Can anyone read and comprehend the words in front of them anymore? The essay topic posed to the two classes was something along the lines as follows:

Select a story from your childhood. Discuss it's significance in your memories of your childhood. Was this a book read to you? Was this a family story passed down through generations? Summarize the story and respond to the topic.

I read the first essay & it was about a book called "Freddy the Frog". Good! The next essay was about the Shining, then Night, and then Twelve Angry Men. It continued from there. I had one about The Green Mile, another of The Catcher in the Rye, and two about Go Ask Alice.

These are not childhood stories. These are middle/high school required readings. I believe one-third did the assignment as requested. The other 2/3? Don't get me started. And these are supposed to be my smart students.

A Looooonnnnnnngggggggg Semester Lies Ahead!

The Beginning of My Ulcers & the End of My Sanity

It's Sunday morning. I have today & tomorrow & that's it. I return to (as Crak calls it) Briarcrap on Tuesday for our first day of the semester. I am NOT HAPPY. I have already been there for a meeting & a change of office cubicle. I have had agita heaped upon me in person, on the phone, and in letters that pay me $20k less than it should be. I can't sleep. The pounds are packing on much easier than they should. I have little tolerance for anyone or anything that is in front of me. I can't concentrate.

Think I have problems with my job? Sorry~~my sarcasm is running on overdrive today. I know. You look & say "It's only 10:15 am on a nice day. How can she be this strung out with things?" Believe me. If you had to face the realities I will be facing on a daily basis & know that this is what life has been reduced to, you'd have run crying to the sanitarium ages ago. My family can't figure out why I haven't cracked yet. Four reasons: 1. supportive family & friends/colleagues who either listen to or will commisserate with this garbage 2. good food that I have been having 3. shopping & the latest fall fashions. Sounds shallow, I know. I don't care. Pretty colored fabrics & accessories always make me smile. And 4. I am a fighter. I don't back down easy & I don't quit. I try to do what's ethical/moral and best for interested parties. I can't take it that the voice of reason exists in so few that I work with.

I have sent out letters & requests, talked to people & even became an entrepeneur, but nothing has caught on yet. My patience is wearing thin. My waistline is not. I will be the woman on that "relacore" commercial if things don't pick up. I used to lvoe the first day of school. It was so exciting, so fresh, and so open to possibilities. What happened?

An Evening With The MIU

I believe this is the first time I have ever seen the MIU twice in less than a five-week span. We usually go six months at a clip before going out to catch up on all the latest events. We met at our usual Starbucks & sat for 2 1/2 hours chatting away. He has a lot going on. He's had a few bbqs in the last couple of weeks. He went to Buffalo over Labor Day weekend to have wings at Duffs & beer in Canada. He started a new job on Tuesday. Congrats to him! We talked & compared stories, and laughed a lot. It's always a good time. And--to top it off--he finally let me pay for the coffee. Chivalry is not dead (MIU thinks he has to keep it alive on his lone shoulders) but it is nice to have someone reciprocate, isn't it?

And The Stupidity Just Keeps On Rolling In

So I call my chair & leave a message about my disappointment in the fact that my designated classes aren't running & they tell me this now. Two days before we begin. After I finish setting up the course. We are to give them ample warning about EVERYTHING but they can give us less than 48 hours. So I point out (in my message) that I put time into this. I point out that my numbers for my classes are HUGE whether they are online or not, and I also say that I have been doing this 6 years and it shouldn't matter who is in the class. If they are not strong students they will do poorly anyway, online or traditional.

She calls back at 5:30 and says "I got your message & I understand. You said you put a lot of time into this & I want you to know that I put a lot of time now wasted into this as well." Ummm....do ya didn't. You sent an email. After I sent 5. You are getting paid with your 12-month contract. I have no contract. I am doing all of this work on my own time. So who wasted time? She has no tact at all. AND not only did she say this to me -- she had the nerve to repeat it two more times. Like I didn't hear her the first time. Dufus.

Stupid Stupid Stupid

Today was the "First Day of School" for me. I went to Farm to teach my two compositon classes. The students seem pretty good. They all showed up 5 minutes early. The two issues I had there were:

1. during the first class a knock came at the door 20 minutes into the lecture. I opened the door & a young guy (18) walks through & says "English?" I said "Yes, can I help you?" "Yeah--I'm in here." He has no book, no notebook, not even a pen, nor does he have a print-out of his schedule. I said "You have the wrong room." He says "How would you know?" I said "Because I am the profesor. That's why." He says "Yeah--but how do you know?" I reply "I have 22 on the roster & 22 in here. You figure it out." With that he left & my class was in stitches.
2. I have two woemn in their fifties in my second class. They came up to me & said they "have problems". Great. What is the problem? One works in Queens at 3:00 and the other has children getting off the bus at 3:30 in Queens. They would like to leave at 2:30 every day. Ummm.......no. But I did offer them the option of sitting in the first class & not doing a drop or switch or anything. I will record attendance & grades with class #2 but they will sit in class #1. If they drop they will not be enrolled in my first class as it is maxed out. And if they do plead a case & to the switch the right way I'll get two more students that I will have two more sets of papers for. So we're doing this my way.

The kicker that makes this day stupid is I come home to a message from the chair saying my hybrids are cancelled & that they are beyond maxed in numbers anyway so I now have to re-vamp my syllabus & go in everyday. I am not happy. I picked my hybrids in March. I had to remind them to deal with this from April up to last week. Today--two working days before the semester begins there they change it. yeah--right. I'm doing hybrid days anyway. I just have to figure out how to get around these looneys. Stupid STUPID STUPID!

Stuck In A Jar With The Not-So-Great Gatsby

I have been reading a lot fo chick-lit this summer & decided it was time to do some classic, serious reading. I haven't read Bell Jar or The Great Gatsby in over 12 years & figured it was time to again. Crak was kind enough to lend me her copies & I had my reading for the plae rides. I must say I was bored & depressed with this selection. The Bell Jar was more of a downer then I remembered. And I didn't remember much of Gatsby except the parties & the love for Daisy. Crak & Minsky (another coworker) LOVE this book. Me? Not so much. It was okay. I don't get the big hype over either. Do I acknowledge the grate craftsmanship of the writers? Yes. Do I acknowledge the times in which this was written? YEs. Did I enjoy them? No. I began feeling smothered & unsatisfied just like the characters in the books. I'm going back to chick-lit for a few more weeks. I need to boost my spirits.

Turbulent Travel in a Tin Can to the Hee-Haw Reunion

Trip #2 in recent weeks was to Ohio to visit Cowboy. I know, I know--he lives in Oregon. But when I called him to say "Hey! I found cheap airfare to fly out & visit over Labor Day!" He replied "That's nice but I'll be in Ohio. You can come there if you want." Hmmm........$40 cheaper to fly, only 1 1/2 hours of flight time vs. 8+ and a change of planes, & I get to stay in my own timezone. Sure I'll go to Ohio. I've never been there. The catch? I'd have to see his parents. I haven't seen them since Christmas of 2004. (I may have written about this in a previous post, but I'll write it again incase anyone isn't caught up yet.)

My flight was on Saturday & we were to take off at 2:59 (can't they just make it 3:00 at this rate?) and would land at 4:30. Pretty nice! The problem? Ernesto had sent us lots of rain & wind. Most flights out of LGA were on time & doing just fine. Not mine! My plane had yet to arrive. It finally did at 2:40 & they'd board us asap. So we finally get on the plane at 3:15 & immediately taxi out towards the runway. The plane? May as well have been a sardine can--literally. It had 19 rows & 3 seats per row. BUT--the first two rows on one side were for the closet & another seat on the two-sided one was a closet. So there were 50 seats in all.

The young woman sitting next to me was reading the same exact book as I was. Now, this may sound like no biggie, but we were reading The Bell Jar & didn't really know why. I mean, I asked her why she was reading it--if it was for school or something. She said that she had overheard someone's conversation and they had said it was their favorite book. So since she had yet to read it, she decided now was a good time as any. Too weird. (Not to mention the person who said that must have some serious issues to deal with if that is their favorite book.)

We sat & sat & sat some more because the captain told us Cleveland was not taking any flights in at this time because of the storm. We were free to use our cells to call out if we wanted. Well, it's 4:00 & I am not taking off yet? Okay--let's call Cowboy who landed 1/2 hour ago & let him know I am not there yet. He says "there's nothing wrong here in Cleveland. It stopped raining at 2:00 and there isn't much wind. I'll go ask the Airlines". He calls back & says "You are taking off in 10 minutes & will be here at 5:45". I hadn't heard any of this from my own crew & was a bit ticked that Cleveland (& Cowboy) knew this before we did. So we hang up & with that comes the announcement that we'd be taking off momentarily & prepare for it.

Oh the flight! We barely made it off the ground before the wind hit us hard & sent us down pretty fast. The pilot picked us up again & ascended higher. We get hit to the side & down again. We aren't smacking the ground because we are already a few hundred feet in the air but we may as well have been bounced like a basketball for the sensation that goes through your body & turns your knuckled white. Scary flight all the way there. We were tossed around like a child's toy boat in the bathtub.

The flight is also no frills. The flight attendant opened the large bag of mini pretzel bags & handed it to the people in the first rows & told them to take one and pass it back. So we served our own snacks. I thought this was pretty funny. Then she came around with Coke, Diet Coke, or Sprite. That was it. It was already on a little tray & you just reached up & grabbed it. Heehee---love this! It made everyone feel so close & homey.

I land at precisely 5:45 & call Cowboy to find out if he is in the building or went to get the rental car. He's in the building, but on the other side. That's where I have to go anyway. Cleveland airport is HUGE! I had to get off the stupid tin can, climb down the ladder that they call a staircase to the tarmac, run up a flight of stairs into the building & then see the entire airport while charging to the baggage claim.

It was so good to see him! We had that "airport reunion" thingy going. Ah~~very movie-like if you ask me. He grabbed my suitcase & we walked out to the car. Then he informs me that it will be an hour+ drive to his sister's house. Oh no--more waiting & travel. We got there, said "hi", ate dinner with the sis & parents & then left. This would begin our adventure of getting lost the entire trip. What should have been a twenty minute drive took us almost two hours to find. Yeah--so not happy. We got to the room & crashed.

9:00 the next morning I had him up & out so that we could drive to Newark (still in Ohio--not New Jersey) so we could go to Longaberger Baskets. I was so excited & this was the only other reason I went to Ohio. We were driving about 45 minutes and he said "let's stop & get a map". He buys a map of what he said was Ohio & off we go. Ofcourse, the exit was the next one on the Interstate but we knew that thanks to the map. We had been driving south for so long & I was still sort of asleep that when I saw a sign that said "KSU Next Exit", I exclaimed out loud "Kentucky State University? How did we drive through the whole state to get to Kentucky so fast? Did we miss the exit?" Yeah--that would have been KENT State, NOT Kentucky. Oh the blond moments just keep on rolling. This is when we also realize that the reason Colombus & Newark are not on the map because it's only of the northeast corner! DRAT!

We made it to the Longaberger Homestead & had a blast. It is a cute little village set-up that one family developed. Their baskets are very expensive but oh so cute. We wandered through the whole village before going back to make my selected purchases.

From there we started on towards Colombus. This is where we met up with Cowboy's friend--Hottie. They met while living in an apartment complex in Ashtabula (can that town name be any hokeyer?) and have stayed in touch ever since. Hottie was so much fun to be with. He lives in a townhouse that he rents with another guy & gave me the grand tour. He acts like he's known you forever...which is nice. I've never met a friend of Cowboy's that has been around for years (due to his moving like an army brat) and felt nervous. So he even opens up the bedroom doors & says "Go In. Check it out." Weird walking into some guy's room who isn't even there for you to meet before you go into his bedroom & closet. The townhouse is 2-story brick....stunning! There's a living room, galley kitchen, and small area for a dining room set, and a 1/2 bath downstairs. They also have two garages + two parking spaces. The living room has a 40-foot cathedral ceiling with a skylight. Upstairs has the two aforementioned bedrooms each with private full baths & walk-in closets. They pay $950 total. That's for the monthly rent, the maintenance, and the utilities. They will sell you the unit for $180k. I wanted to cry. It was right in the middle of a suburban area with grocery store, panera, mcdonalds, and some swanky restaurants. We ate at a place called 'Burgundy', which was a tapas restaurant that focused on wine pairings. We stayed with Hottie 'til 11:30 at night. He wanted us to go into the city (20 minutes away) with the newly arrived roomie + friend in tow. Cowboy wanted to but understood that I didn't want to stay overnight here with no personal effects with me. So we made the drive back to Geneva---4 hours. We got back close to 4am & dropped instantly.

Next morning we were up & out by 10 am. Breakfast was at my favorite out-of-state Crackerbarrel. From there he gave me a tour of all of the towns he lived in. SO many towns....all so different. We got to stop at "a" Starbucks....we only saw 1 of them the entire time. We even stopped at a mall quickly so I could get KDP's stuffed friend, adam, a cleveland shirt. Then it was on to family reunion #1. We walked in with Cowboy's sister + 5 kids & everything at the gathering stopped. It was like City Slickers meets Beverly Hillbillies. Not kidding. We stayed as long as we could handle it (2 hours) and then took off for reunion #2. Cowboy's in-laws wanted to see him & his parents. We stayed there a bit & then piled 2 of the 5 kids in the car & my tour of the counties continued. I saw Pres. Garfield's house, Lake Erie, the famous nuclear reactors & the school district that is the most state-of-the-art thanks to the reactor. We dropped the girls off around 7 & took off to relax before looking for something for dinner.

While Cowboy slept the 1/2 hour, I finally called home to catch up with family for a bit. He woke up & off we went looking for anything open for a snack. But--unlike New York--EVERYTHING was closed. We settled on Pizza -take-out to go back to the room at 9:00 when we finally gave up.

Tuesday brought breakfast with his parents.....the second time I actually had to sit down with them. But his sister + the littlest one were there, so things went smoothly. He & I headed off to wrap up a few things & then went to his sister's house so the two of them could talk. It was so nice to see him interact with her. He's seen me with my brother so many times but being that his life is in another state I never get to see this side of him. It "normalized" him for me.

It was time to make the 1hr 15min. drive back to the airport. I stayed with his family until they had to board their plane. I had an hour to waste once they boarded so I went to grab dinner. I foudn this great little place called Tequilaria & ordered some yummy tacos & rice. I was 1/2 way through with them when I double-checked the time and realized I was going to mis my flight. Rememebr how I mentioned that my gate was at the furthest end of the airport? well, I had to make that same sprint back to that area. I literally threw the money on the table and sighed that the meal was so good but only 1/2 eaten & ran off.

I went through 1/2 the airport, down an escalator, over two moving walkways, up another escalator & then down a long corridor to smack right into the desk by the gate. The gate was closed, there were no people, nor was the rope there anymore that guides people in. I almost freaked. The gate attendants looked at me strangely as I tried to catch my breath. I panted "Has this flight left yet?" It was now 5:12 & the flight would take off in 8 minutes. As I am freaking out I look at the board behind then taht says the next flight is a 6:15. How did I miss it? I have NEVER missed a flight. I had a connecting one once that landed so late & I had to take off like a shot to get to the door & then the attendant had me on the gangway and slammed us back into the soon to move jetliner to signal that there was still a person not on. Well, there were actually 10 of us from that 1st flight, but I was the first one there. I had to tell them to hold the plane. Sorry--back to the latest one. The gate attendnat says "Oh--taht flight is delayed 'til 6:15. Relax. We'll let you know when it's ready." ????????????????

I could have eaten the rest of my meal? There was no reason for me to break a sweat? UGH! We finally get the call to go & it's down another flight of stairs, out to the tarmac, and up the ladder to the plane. I settled in for the 1hr 15 min flight home that would once again be quite turbulent. We bouced & shifted right to left & dropped a bit but made it to LGA at 8:00 pm. An hour late but home safe.

I had fun. Cowboy & I fell right into sync with one another as if we hadn't been separated & now I am missing my best friend more than ever.