It went like this:
(in a totally straight voice...I am not sure how she did it): "Mel peeed on George's couch. Call me back."
???????????????????????????????????????????????????????
Did I hear her correctly? I couldn't try to listen to it again because I had already doubled over laughing at just the thought of hearing this.
The president of our company had a barbeque at his house on Friday from 4-12. I didn't go because he & I are on-the-outs. I was not about to be hypocritical & go so I stayed home from it. Crak & I had plans to meet up afterwards. She attended from 5:30ish -7:30ish. We then grabbed barstools at Sweeneys & she told me all about the party. Pretty uneventful.
Until she went to work Saturday morning. Where she heard about all of the action that took place after she had left. The head of human resources was pretty drunk when she saw him earlier in the evening. It turns out he was so wasted that he had to relax on the couch & --it seems that-- he was not coherent enough to realize he had to use the bathroom. So when he "came to" he was all wet. EWWW!!!!! He then went into the bathroom, where people became concerned because he was spending too much time in there. A couple of people found out what he did & tried to help him out to a car to drive him home. The story spread like wildfire & a lone person did not hear it. For when HR came out this person yelled "Why are your pants wet?" To which another voice responded "He peed! He peed!" I was dying by this point in the story.
Oh but it doesn't end there. The president's secretary was there......drunk....and asking people if they wanted to smoke marijuana with her. She had it in her purse. At the president's home. The person relaying the story to Crak swears that when she left the secretary & three others were out there smoking away....and it didn't smell like nicotine. Hmmmmm...........and someone jokingly (sort of) asked the prez. if he'd be looking for a new secretary on Monday.
What is it with people? This is a work function! At the prez.'s home! I never can understand how people can get drunk at work functions. Or smoke pot at them either. And who will he send these people to on Monday? Isn't this the kind of thing that you'd send people to the HR guy for? But, it WAS the HR guy who wet the couch!
I keep hearing two Seinfeld episodes in my head: "Poppie & JErry's couch" & the one where George goes to the cabin for the weekend with Susan & leaves his car in the Yankees parking lot & Steinbrenner thinks he's dead & Frank Costanza leaves the message "Jerry. It's Frank. Steinbrenner's here. George is dead. Call me back."
I can't wait for Monday!
