Okay I am not finishing that one.
Friday night I found myself being whisked to Sayville for a "passion pleasure" party. Blonde had been invited & rsvp'd for herself + 4. KDP, Crak, Sassy & I were to attend with her. How I got roped into this, I still can't figure out. And, before I could bail, Crak and Sassy managed to. Well, I can't leave a gal high and dry afer rsvping for 5 people, so KDP & I trooped it out.
Blonde drove us out to Sayville......yeah it may as well have been Guam.......and braced us by saying "Well, I relaly don't hang out with the women. I am friends with their husbands and am not really sure if I'll be comfortable in the hosue without the men there". Great.
We went in and downstairs to a room filled with women and food. And, in the corner was the table of "stuff". Oh no. I have to be honest...I don't realy get this 'stuff'. I don't get how some of it's used, I don't get why people use it when they have a body ready & able near by, and I don't get why they'd want to slather themselves with a ton of sticky gels, things that tingle & numb (isn't it supposed to be about sensation?) and powders to have a good time. All I think about is 'is this going to ruin my sheets and how fast can I flip him off so that I can put them in the wash?'
These women were loud. And shared way too much. One woman announced how her husband loves 'gigi'.....some thing to help with oral....another is telling us her latest toy and how fabulous it works....andother got one for her birthday and said the directions were confusing and wanted the consultant to show her how it works.......and anotehr said how she carries her's in the trunk of her car 'because younever know when you'll want it' and how her son gets condoms out of her purse when he's going out to see his girlfriend.
We had to wear nametags with our stripper names. WHich meant taking the name of your first pet and the name of the street which yougrew up. So I was Tiger Cottage........which Blonde became obsessed with saying. Why? I have no idea.
I'm not used to this. Type of party I mean. And it was a bit weird. Thank goodness they were all strangers to me and I don't have to worry about knowing them AND their husbands and what they do or how they liek it (poor Blonde).
We bailed around 10 and headed off to McCann's. We got i.d.'d and the bouncer said to me (quite loudly) "Wow. You don't look that old!" I asked him to tell me just how old I looked but he looked embarrassed and turned away.
Inside was packed with mediocre-looking people. One of the bartenders was a former student of mine (big shock). Crak and I called him Face, because it really is all about his face and how it could potentially get him into or out of anything. He's pretty but not bright at all. So I wasn't surprised when KDP ordered a Miller Chill and he came back with a Woodpecker Cider. Blonde and KDP couldn't figure out how you'd mix the two drinks up but I understood it completely. He's just too pretty to work.
Blonde founda man to stare at for the evening and we kept persuading her to go speak with him. She wouldn't. Why? She dosn't have a line to use right now. She explained that when it's football season or baseball season, she knows how to approach a guy. But when it's inbetween, she has no clue. ???????? This made no sense to us. Which made KDP and me frustrated. So I kept saying (loudly in his direciton) "Hey! Come talk to my friend." while KDP kept nudging her with her leg to try and make Blodne topple over and into the guy. Yeah--after an hour and a half she still hadn't made her move so we left.
I rolled in at 1:45 am and crashed! Toy parties and frustrating lack of man approaches wear me out!
