"I pick up all my friends, in my Mercedes Benz. People say, they say that it's just a phase. They tell me to act my age. Well, I am."
So, I got a car about two months ago. My lease was soon to be up on the Acura & I had to get new wheels. I lookeda round. I really did. The only car in the same price range as the RSX was the C230 4door. I hemmed & hawed & drove myself (no pun intended) mad. I got the Benz. I felt so guilty. On the day that I picked it up, the car guy (Spence--who is an idiot) asked me how did I feel about this new car. I told him honestly--I felt sick. I had been sick all day. I had freaked out. I have this thing about buying stuff that I know others are going to look at & say "who dos she think she is?". Especailly with my job. I cry about money all of the time. Maybe because I am grossly underpaid. But, I only have myself to care for; no spouse (like I have to remind myself about that), no kids, no mortgage. And then I began justifying having leased the car. I explained to everyone how it was financially the same as what I had been driving & doing for the last six years. Why am I justifying myself to others? I have no idea. It's that guilt thing I have. I always want others to feel good & don't want to steal their thunder. And, I want to deflect the attention from me as best as possible. At work, I know of three people who got new cars over the break. They told a lot of people. One even insisted on taking me (and I am sure many others) for a ride. I haven't told anyone at work except Peof Crau (who has yet to ride in it).
Well, after all of this time, I think I am over it. I went out last night with my friends in my car & had a blast. I have to work through this guilt issue I have, and my car may be the first step in the process. I hope so.
