I went to bed last night knowing what it is to truly hate a day. It has been a long time since I felt that way & it made for a horrible night. All went well with my first two classes. The Lit. kids actually read & were able to comment on the first act of Othello. The second class had a meaningful discussion about the Moussaoui trial. After that, a student in the second class asked me if I would please read the poetry he has written. He extended his shaking arm (nerves?) and handed me a bound book filled with poems he has written and titles of ones he plans to write. I love this. This is the fourth nice gesture from my students at that school this semester. I had that standing ovation from a night class, cookies from another night class (homemade), an invitation to a jewelry party that one adult student hosts, and now this. It's nice when they want to allow you a peak into their life outside of school.
Then it happened. I was walking back to Academics from the second class & there were two male students in an empty hallway. One looks up at me and says "Yo, miss, your skirt is too short". I turned around and said "Excuse me. That is not appropriate to say to a faculty member" and walked away. He says it again "I'm just telling you that it's too short". So I repeat in a firm tone that I already told him it is not appropriate to say that to me. He states that he doesn't care & says it again. I asked him if he wanted to go talk about this in Student Services, since we were right outside of the doors to that office. He says "I'll go anywhere wit you. I don't care". So I said, "Let's go in then". He tells me he "ain't goin' nowhere wit" me and he don't care. ACK!! If you are going to be a jackass in college, at least speak properly....dumbass. I do not know this student from a hole in the wall and walk into the office yelling that I have been harassed by a student who is refusing to come in and that I need help. Nobody comes out of their office to help me. I look into the first office in that dept. and ask the guy "DID you hear me? I said I need help." He says "I heard you. Did he have his student ID on?" "No, he didn't and he won't come in." "Well, get him and bring him in. If he won't come with you, get security." Thanks for nothing student services.
I stomp back to Academics & find Peof Crau at the desk. I told her what had happened and she says, in a very calm tone, "Do you want me to help you lok for him?" Thank god, someone who is willing to help. So off we go to look outside & then in the cafeteria. There is the student sitting on the radiator with his friends. I said, as calmly as I could, "You are wanted in Student Services, let's go." He says "I ain't goin nowhere wit you. What for? I didn't say notin' that ain't true." So I tell him again and he refuses, ever so eloquently. I said that I was going to go find the security guard & he said "You go find that old man. He can't do notin'."
I head into SS and am soon followed by said student(aka thug) and Crau (who conviced him to follow) into the office of Mr. No Clue. Here we sit and the thug is allowed to run his mouth about how he didn't say anything wrong and it was me. He said he was not going to apologize to me but would and wouldn't mean it. He felt that he shouldn't have to apologize to me just because I am a human being and I have a degree because he is earning a degree himself and I am no better than him. I tried to point out that this was harassment and that.....I was cut off as he continued to run his mouth. Mr. No Clue let the student railroad right over us & then let him go. Crau was of very sound mind.....I wanted to knock the kid's block off. Thank goodness she had been so calm because that is what actually kept me from knocking this kid down. The thug leaves & MNC says "It's their culture. He doesn't understand. But it's good that he had to come in here and talk about it." OH GOD!! Are you kidding? He is over 18 and in college & he doesn't know any better? So what is this...boys will be boys? Give it a rest. I was harassed and disrespected by a thug student and I am the one who has to suffer? MNC did not even write this up in a report. Guaranteed he doesn't even remember the student's name.
I was boiling. I then had to endure a presentation from a publishing rep. Very nice presentation, but I was so far gone by this point with anger & rage. I then went out for lunch with RB, another Lib. Arts teacher. We scarfed down a big salad & then headed over to Uniondale to see Scojen's gallery exhibit. The ride there & back put me over the edge. RB is a great person & I love working with her, but she can't drive. She taps the gas pedal and then coasts. Taps, coasts, taps, coasts. I was so motion sick from accelerating and gliding. BE CONSISTENT! Hit the damn pedal and drive on the freakin' road already!
Scojen's exhibit was great. Of the six exhibitors I saw, her's was the best & that is not a biased statement. It best fit the description of the exhibit "Nonliteral/Figurative Figures". The others seemed to miss the concept.
I went back to work & sat for an hour waiting to get in to the dean's office to tell her I was angry and unsatisfied with the outcome of this situation. I didn't get in her office until after my last class. I was in there then from 5:30ish until 6:55. She said she will do something about this, but I will not be holding my breath. I told her that I will be wearing jeans from now on so that nobody can say ANYTHING to me about my skirts. I may be making a big deal out of this. I don't know. I will say that I have worn a skirt twice all semester. The first time I wore one, some of my students, in a classroom setting, said "Hey, Prof., you are wearing a skirt today. How come?" I told them that it was nice that they paid attention to my clothes more than the lessons, but that it isn't really appropriate to point out such a thing, but thank you for understanding. They were quick to apologize & didn't know that they should not do such a thing. That was fine. They did not say it in an inappropriate manner. They were making an observation. This thug said it in a rude & condescending way. After I told him that it was not appropriate to say, he continued in his thug-ass way.
I came home so late & shaking because I hadn't eaten in awhile....and you all know how I am with eating on schedule.........and then I call Cowboy. I am so wound up & needed to vent. So, he picks up and says "What up, baby?" Ummm.....who did I call? He has never said anything like that to me. In the five years I know him & the 3+ we dated, he NEVER called me baby. It sounded as if he had just been talking/laughing with someone. So I asked if I was interrupting & he said no, but that he was close to home and his phone was going to die. Could he call me back in a bit? Sure, I say. I hang up and begin to wait. And wait.......he never called. I know this because I was up until 1 waiting for his call. At 5:30 this morning I woke up from the stress & restlessness & looked at my phone. He didn't call. I fell back to sleep angry and hurt. At 8 this morning I check my email. He emailed me at 1 am his time (4 am here) and it just said "Sorry I didn't call you back. I didn't want to wake you." Thanks for nothing.
