I came home late last night to find an email from Mr. Italy. Huh? I have not heard from him in two weeks. He wants to know if I want to get together. So I sent it back saying that if he wants to get together, he has my number and can call. I pointed out that I don't believe he really wants to get together because if he did, he would not play these sad games of his. He emailed me back that he wants to cook dinner for me & then we can go walk on the beach. I sent it back saying I want to go out...like on a real date or like two friends getting together to catch up.
He ims me today "What do you mean 'real date'?" Are you serious? I told him I am not doing this. That if he wants this to actually go through, he has to call me. He wanted to know why I won't go to his place for a nice meal. I pointed out that evenings like that are for people who have gone out on a few dates & I have not seen him in 5 years and do not feel comfortable doing that. He pressures why. Didn't I just say why? Moron.
He may call. I won't hold my breathe. Why? Because he can't follow through with anything. Ever.
And now my blood pressure is up. UGH!
Wednesday, June 06, 2007
Why Don't They Call When They Say They Will?
The ever-popular "Greg Behrendt Show" was on this morning & I caught it. Why? Because they were talking about his book with real people who still don't get it. The one truly ineresting scenario that a guest provided, since it happened to her recently, was why does a guy act so interested in you, ask for your number, maybe even kiss your hand, call a couple of days later to say "Let's set something up" and then disappear?
The answer:
He's not that into you. Shocker! It was explained through a metaphor. It's like going to the store and seeing a sweater that you really really like. But, you don't have the money at that moment to get it. So you write down the information with the plan to go back for it. But, as the days role on, you may forget what the sweater looked like. Or you may decide that you don't want a sweater. Or you may forget that there was a sweater at all.
So, make that the meet-n-greet scenario when you find a guy while out with the girls. You start talking to some random guy. The two of you ge along great. He can't take you on a date that night because you are out with friends & so is he. So he writes down the information. He plans to call & maybe he does. But, again, as the time rolls on, he forgets that he even met you or forgets what it was about you that made him take your number in the first place. And so on.
Makes sense to me. I don't like it, but it definitely clarifires things from the last few weeks.
The answer:
He's not that into you. Shocker! It was explained through a metaphor. It's like going to the store and seeing a sweater that you really really like. But, you don't have the money at that moment to get it. So you write down the information with the plan to go back for it. But, as the days role on, you may forget what the sweater looked like. Or you may decide that you don't want a sweater. Or you may forget that there was a sweater at all.
So, make that the meet-n-greet scenario when you find a guy while out with the girls. You start talking to some random guy. The two of you ge along great. He can't take you on a date that night because you are out with friends & so is he. So he writes down the information. He plans to call & maybe he does. But, again, as the time rolls on, he forgets that he even met you or forgets what it was about you that made him take your number in the first place. And so on.
Makes sense to me. I don't like it, but it definitely clarifires things from the last few weeks.
Mackin' In The Stacks
Cameron & I went out last night for drinks. He suggested that we meet at the Library Cafe. I have been dying to go there for ages now & was so happy to get the chance to go. It's a tiny place and a bit unpolished, but a cute theme. They have a martini menu in which each drink is named for a writer and a novel.....DeMille's Gold Coast, which has a golden glow to it & golden/yellow-ey alcohols, Dickinson's something, another by Poe.....all yummy-sounding & I was so hooked.
I arrived just before 8 and walked inside. He was sitting at the far end of the bar with a beer in hand. Now, Cameron had said to Crak & me on Friday night that, since he tends bar, he sees a lot of dates where the bickering over who is going to pay is so frustrating. He said what a guy should do to avoid that whole deal is go and either give the barender a couple of bills or a credit card BEFORE the woman arrives & he can just debit it as they go so that there is no bill at the end. Smart! Isn't that what he did? I thought it was nice but I offered a couple of times anyway.
We talked for 3 1/2 hours. He was so nice & sweet & funny..........wait........didn't I write this about the Detective a couple of nights ago? Drat. And, yes, he was all of these things last night, but I felt a 'friendship' thing going on and was not attracted to him at all. I feel so bad about this since he is a nice guy & truly a gentleman.
Well, when the laughing & banter & convo. had run its course, we decided to get going. It was 11:30 on a Tuesday night & probably a good time to get home, since he had to be at work at 8 this morning & ready to teach 4th graders....all handfuls from his description. He walked me to my car & was all set to walk like 6 blocks to his. I told him to get in because he took me so far on the opposite direction of where he had to be. He didn't want to get in but did since I said it was the least I could do. He even asked if it was okay to open my car door for me, seeing as I protested him walking me back in the first place. I'm telling you, a gentleman all the way.
Well, it was once again time for that awkward "do I have to kiss him or can I shake his hand" deal & he leaned in. It was nice. But, again, no sparks. I tried. I really really tried. Nothing. What is going on here? Why am I not even remotely interested in these guys? They are....ugh here I go again..........nice, sweet, funny, have good jobs, have good manners. But I am just not into them. In. The. Least.
I need help.
I arrived just before 8 and walked inside. He was sitting at the far end of the bar with a beer in hand. Now, Cameron had said to Crak & me on Friday night that, since he tends bar, he sees a lot of dates where the bickering over who is going to pay is so frustrating. He said what a guy should do to avoid that whole deal is go and either give the barender a couple of bills or a credit card BEFORE the woman arrives & he can just debit it as they go so that there is no bill at the end. Smart! Isn't that what he did? I thought it was nice but I offered a couple of times anyway.
We talked for 3 1/2 hours. He was so nice & sweet & funny..........wait........didn't I write this about the Detective a couple of nights ago? Drat. And, yes, he was all of these things last night, but I felt a 'friendship' thing going on and was not attracted to him at all. I feel so bad about this since he is a nice guy & truly a gentleman.
Well, when the laughing & banter & convo. had run its course, we decided to get going. It was 11:30 on a Tuesday night & probably a good time to get home, since he had to be at work at 8 this morning & ready to teach 4th graders....all handfuls from his description. He walked me to my car & was all set to walk like 6 blocks to his. I told him to get in because he took me so far on the opposite direction of where he had to be. He didn't want to get in but did since I said it was the least I could do. He even asked if it was okay to open my car door for me, seeing as I protested him walking me back in the first place. I'm telling you, a gentleman all the way.
Well, it was once again time for that awkward "do I have to kiss him or can I shake his hand" deal & he leaned in. It was nice. But, again, no sparks. I tried. I really really tried. Nothing. What is going on here? Why am I not even remotely interested in these guys? They are....ugh here I go again..........nice, sweet, funny, have good jobs, have good manners. But I am just not into them. In. The. Least.
I need help.
Sunday, June 03, 2007
An Honest-to-Goodness Follow-Up
Cameron said Friday night that he'd call to set something up for Tuesday night. I am not into buying into these lines so I put very little stock in to it. Well, 8:45 pm tonight my phone rang. It was Cameron! Color me shocked. Really. No sarcasm or disdain in that last comment. I was actually wowed that a man followed up on what he said he'd do.
We chatted for a bit. I thanked him for saving us Friday night. He said it was nothing. Aw! I asked him about his friends & where else they go & a bit about work & stuff. He did the same with me. We didn't talk too long, but we finished with planning to meet for dinner on Tuesday at 7:30. I told him to pick the place & I'll meet him there. He said he had not figured out that last detail but will call me tomorrow and let me know. I said that would be fine.
So, Tuesday I will be dining with a very entertaining gentleman. I'm looking forward to this!
We chatted for a bit. I thanked him for saving us Friday night. He said it was nothing. Aw! I asked him about his friends & where else they go & a bit about work & stuff. He did the same with me. We didn't talk too long, but we finished with planning to meet for dinner on Tuesday at 7:30. I told him to pick the place & I'll meet him there. He said he had not figured out that last detail but will call me tomorrow and let me know. I said that would be fine.
So, Tuesday I will be dining with a very entertaining gentleman. I'm looking forward to this!
Saturday, June 02, 2007
The Detective Needs to Get a Clue
The Detective & I had met a week and a half ago at Stout for what was a very nice hour-long conversation. Crak was there. I felt no sparks. She didn't pick up on 'spark' vibes. Yet, the detective must have.
We met at Cozymels for dinner. We were seated immediately & the waitress came back three times before she was able to take our order. We talked nonstop. It was nice. The converstaion flowed the entire time. The food was good. The atmosphere was great. The date itself was wonderful. The actual 'date' person? Not so much. He's really nice guy but again.......no 'sparks'. I can't help it. We sat there for three hours talking & laughing. He found out I like coconut & ordered two coconut margaritas for us in lieu of dessert. He offered me dessert, as well, but I was stuffed from the appetizers, dinner, and drinks. A gal can only eat so much before bursting.
We walked outside & he wanted to show me his car. He has a BMW that he had built at the factory in Germany. I have seen this on news channels & would love to do this. He did it. I was so jealous. He wanted to see my car. Uh oh. Here's the 'move'. While I checked out his car from outside with the door open, he got into mine on the passenger side. He continued to talk, even thought I got three calls from people in five minutes. I told him they were 'are you alive' calls, but he didnt get the hint.
I told him I'd drive him back to his car, since he was already seated & I thought maybe another call would come through that I could say I have to take............to avoid the inevitable kiss. But no. My friends have sucky timing.
We talked more. He asked me about next weekend. I said I'm busy. He said how about Thursday & I wasn't quick enough to come up with something so I may have to go to a movie. Drat. I mean, he's nice & sweet & a gentleman, but he isn't for me. Which is sad.
He leaned in and just as I tried to turn my cheek he caught me for a real kiss. It was nice. But no sparking. He backed away when he realized I was done & said "Wow. That was great. I'm telling my friends I had an amazing time." Then he waited for a response from me & I said "I'm telling mine that I'm still alive." He chuckled. He said he'll call me to set up something for Thursday.
I conveyed all of my signals that this wasn't for me, but his radar must have been jammed. Or maybe the clues weren't obvious enough. I thought they screamed "I'm not into you", but I guess I'm wrong.
That or I'm just oh so totally irresistable. I'll go with the latter.
We met at Cozymels for dinner. We were seated immediately & the waitress came back three times before she was able to take our order. We talked nonstop. It was nice. The converstaion flowed the entire time. The food was good. The atmosphere was great. The date itself was wonderful. The actual 'date' person? Not so much. He's really nice guy but again.......no 'sparks'. I can't help it. We sat there for three hours talking & laughing. He found out I like coconut & ordered two coconut margaritas for us in lieu of dessert. He offered me dessert, as well, but I was stuffed from the appetizers, dinner, and drinks. A gal can only eat so much before bursting.
We walked outside & he wanted to show me his car. He has a BMW that he had built at the factory in Germany. I have seen this on news channels & would love to do this. He did it. I was so jealous. He wanted to see my car. Uh oh. Here's the 'move'. While I checked out his car from outside with the door open, he got into mine on the passenger side. He continued to talk, even thought I got three calls from people in five minutes. I told him they were 'are you alive' calls, but he didnt get the hint.
I told him I'd drive him back to his car, since he was already seated & I thought maybe another call would come through that I could say I have to take............to avoid the inevitable kiss. But no. My friends have sucky timing.
We talked more. He asked me about next weekend. I said I'm busy. He said how about Thursday & I wasn't quick enough to come up with something so I may have to go to a movie. Drat. I mean, he's nice & sweet & a gentleman, but he isn't for me. Which is sad.
He leaned in and just as I tried to turn my cheek he caught me for a real kiss. It was nice. But no sparking. He backed away when he realized I was done & said "Wow. That was great. I'm telling my friends I had an amazing time." Then he waited for a response from me & I said "I'm telling mine that I'm still alive." He chuckled. He said he'll call me to set up something for Thursday.
I conveyed all of my signals that this wasn't for me, but his radar must have been jammed. Or maybe the clues weren't obvious enough. I thought they screamed "I'm not into you", but I guess I'm wrong.
That or I'm just oh so totally irresistable. I'll go with the latter.
Altercations & Astonishments
Friday night found Crak, Scojen & myself at Blue Honu. Scojen is getting married in one week & she needed "out". We met up & got drinks & stood by one of the tall tables so we had some sort of territory. Across from us, at the same table, stood these two 40-something yr. old guys. They started talking to Scojen. She indulged them in conversation. Crak & I mumbled to eachother about not wanting to talk to these guys since she & I are out to maybe find men & these two were not it. But, out of politeness, I chimed in a bit. They ordered food. Scojen said she was hungry & wanted some food, too. I was sucked in by the crab cakes & decided I could go for a bite. The food came. Crak disappeared. Scojen & I ate & talked with the two men. Then, Scojen finished & disappeared. She went by Crak. Leaving me with the two men & the yet-to-arrive check. I said to the two men, "If the waitress comes, please ask for my check. I am going to find my friend so she can pay, too." They said fine. I didn't want them to think we were sticking them with the bill, nor were we skipping out completely.
I found Scojen with Crak & said "Hey. Let's pay this." She said "Why? If the waitress wants to be paid, she can find me. It's no big deal." I said "It is a big deal. I like coming here & am not going to skip out on the bill. I am also not leaving it for those two guys to get stuck." She said "Oh, Grotter. What's the difference. So if we don't pay we don't pay". To which I went back & waited with the two men & so did not want to be with from the very start of the evening.
The bill came & Crak came over with Scojen's money. What? A messenger? Get your own friggin' butt over here & take care of this like an adult. I took care of the bill & said goodbye to the men, who were leaving anyway.
I found Scojen & Crak & said "I can't hang back here (ugly people) and want to go to the front where there's space, air, and people watching to do." So, Crak, who had found a cop to chat with , brought him up front & the four of us stood around and they talked. She gave him her number. Okay Crak! That's two out of three visits that a man has asked for your number. Not bad! See? I told you we need to go to this place every week!
With that, Scojen began talking to some drunk guy. Who was there with a friend. The friend had three other friends with him. Who he introduced us to. Until the one said to me "You need no introducitons" and then told me he was a student of mine at FTC when I did the poetry online class. This guy met me all of three times and this was 4 years ago! Wow! Do I leave an impression or what? He told his friends who I was and they started doing the whole "You're a professor? You gave him a "D"? You are both (Crak & me) professors?" Then my student, Cameron, said because of the grade, he owed me a beer. We talked. He flirted. He entertained Crak & me with his antics. He asked for my number (three for three for me). And then things began to take turns for the worse.
Mr. Finance's group came in minus one Finance. His brothers were there, Ralph, two other guys who had not been there, and Crak's Tarzan. They came in, looked at us, and kept going. Tarzan saw Crak and acted as if he didn't know her at all. Then he disappeared. We told Cameron about the situation & he said guys are dumb.....but he used expletives that I will not put on here.
Crak went outside to take a call & while in midcall, Tarzan walked up to her & kissed her. No hello. No greeting. Just kissed her. Reminiscent of two weeks ago. She pushed him away and said how that was messed up. He said she was talking to her boyfriend (the cop?) inside when he arrived so........................................ and then he was gone.
I went over to Finance's brother & said "Is he coming?" He said "Maybe later." I said "Oh. Good. Did he tell you about the call yesterday?" He just nodded yes & smiled uncomfortably. Good.
I went back to Cameron and he had us laughing so hard. Finance's brother kept watching and even tried to wave at one poiont. Why? I don't know. Then Scojen came & sat on the stool. To which her drunk man started touching her. She would shrink back & try to avoid it. He reached between Scojen & me, for the bar, three unnecessary times. I finally took his hand & guided it back away. He tried touching Scojen's shoulder & Crak intervened on that one. Cameron said "Hey, buddy. How's it going?" And the drunk guy said "What? Are you trying to tell me to get the 'f' out?" Cameron said "No. Dude, if I wanted to say that, I would have said it". Then I tried to tell the guy that Scojen didn't want to be touched & he could stop.
He turns to me and says "If you three don't want to f'n be touched then you can all f'n leave." Cameron said "Dude. You tried. She rejected you. Its good. Just respect the lady and move on." Then the guy wanted to take it outside. I said to him "Again, she didn't want to be touched. Leave it alone." He said "Get the f out then. What are you, her mother? Take it home to your boyfriend." Huh? I got lost on that one. I tried going back at him but Cameron stood between us & told the bartender to get security.
Security took him outside & he was out there pacing around............waiting. Maybe. I don't know.
While Cameron entertained us more, Scojen was spotted with a group of three or four other men. She went over there as soon as the altercation began & told them, "I got into a bit of trouble over there with a guy. Can I hide out here?" And they kept her company while we almost got into it with the loser she had begun talking to in the first place. Keeping track? This is the second time she bailed & left me with a guy she didn't want to deal with. Its the third time in the evening of leaving me with anything she didn't feel like taking care of herself.
At the end of the evening, Cameron walked the three of us outside. He wanted to walk us to our cars, but we (especially me) insisted that we'd be fine. I'd go with Crak, who drove herself & Scojen, and she'd drive me to my car. We'd be fine. Cameron gave us all a kiss on the cheek goodbye & went back inside. Scojen said "Ew! You hung out with him? You'd go out with him? He's not goodlooking. And he's fat." I said "That guy saved your butt, and our's. tonight while you bailed and hid on us. And that's all you have to say?" She continued on "But he's not goodlooking." I became angry and said, again, "You would have had your butt kicked by that drunk guy and Cameron took care of it. That's all you have? I'll kick your butt right now for acting like that. Don't tick me off right now." Crak just looked and said "Scojen, she'll do it". And Scojen said "More importantly, look at that dresser. How cute is it?" I wanted to knock her to the ground at that point. I was so happy when Crak, so nicely, dropped me off at my car & I could go home.
I found Scojen with Crak & said "Hey. Let's pay this." She said "Why? If the waitress wants to be paid, she can find me. It's no big deal." I said "It is a big deal. I like coming here & am not going to skip out on the bill. I am also not leaving it for those two guys to get stuck." She said "Oh, Grotter. What's the difference. So if we don't pay we don't pay". To which I went back & waited with the two men & so did not want to be with from the very start of the evening.
The bill came & Crak came over with Scojen's money. What? A messenger? Get your own friggin' butt over here & take care of this like an adult. I took care of the bill & said goodbye to the men, who were leaving anyway.
I found Scojen & Crak & said "I can't hang back here (ugly people) and want to go to the front where there's space, air, and people watching to do." So, Crak, who had found a cop to chat with , brought him up front & the four of us stood around and they talked. She gave him her number. Okay Crak! That's two out of three visits that a man has asked for your number. Not bad! See? I told you we need to go to this place every week!
With that, Scojen began talking to some drunk guy. Who was there with a friend. The friend had three other friends with him. Who he introduced us to. Until the one said to me "You need no introducitons" and then told me he was a student of mine at FTC when I did the poetry online class. This guy met me all of three times and this was 4 years ago! Wow! Do I leave an impression or what? He told his friends who I was and they started doing the whole "You're a professor? You gave him a "D"? You are both (Crak & me) professors?" Then my student, Cameron, said because of the grade, he owed me a beer. We talked. He flirted. He entertained Crak & me with his antics. He asked for my number (three for three for me). And then things began to take turns for the worse.
Mr. Finance's group came in minus one Finance. His brothers were there, Ralph, two other guys who had not been there, and Crak's Tarzan. They came in, looked at us, and kept going. Tarzan saw Crak and acted as if he didn't know her at all. Then he disappeared. We told Cameron about the situation & he said guys are dumb.....but he used expletives that I will not put on here.
Crak went outside to take a call & while in midcall, Tarzan walked up to her & kissed her. No hello. No greeting. Just kissed her. Reminiscent of two weeks ago. She pushed him away and said how that was messed up. He said she was talking to her boyfriend (the cop?) inside when he arrived so........................................ and then he was gone.
I went over to Finance's brother & said "Is he coming?" He said "Maybe later." I said "Oh. Good. Did he tell you about the call yesterday?" He just nodded yes & smiled uncomfortably. Good.
I went back to Cameron and he had us laughing so hard. Finance's brother kept watching and even tried to wave at one poiont. Why? I don't know. Then Scojen came & sat on the stool. To which her drunk man started touching her. She would shrink back & try to avoid it. He reached between Scojen & me, for the bar, three unnecessary times. I finally took his hand & guided it back away. He tried touching Scojen's shoulder & Crak intervened on that one. Cameron said "Hey, buddy. How's it going?" And the drunk guy said "What? Are you trying to tell me to get the 'f' out?" Cameron said "No. Dude, if I wanted to say that, I would have said it". Then I tried to tell the guy that Scojen didn't want to be touched & he could stop.
He turns to me and says "If you three don't want to f'n be touched then you can all f'n leave." Cameron said "Dude. You tried. She rejected you. Its good. Just respect the lady and move on." Then the guy wanted to take it outside. I said to him "Again, she didn't want to be touched. Leave it alone." He said "Get the f out then. What are you, her mother? Take it home to your boyfriend." Huh? I got lost on that one. I tried going back at him but Cameron stood between us & told the bartender to get security.
Security took him outside & he was out there pacing around............waiting. Maybe. I don't know.
While Cameron entertained us more, Scojen was spotted with a group of three or four other men. She went over there as soon as the altercation began & told them, "I got into a bit of trouble over there with a guy. Can I hide out here?" And they kept her company while we almost got into it with the loser she had begun talking to in the first place. Keeping track? This is the second time she bailed & left me with a guy she didn't want to deal with. Its the third time in the evening of leaving me with anything she didn't feel like taking care of herself.
At the end of the evening, Cameron walked the three of us outside. He wanted to walk us to our cars, but we (especially me) insisted that we'd be fine. I'd go with Crak, who drove herself & Scojen, and she'd drive me to my car. We'd be fine. Cameron gave us all a kiss on the cheek goodbye & went back inside. Scojen said "Ew! You hung out with him? You'd go out with him? He's not goodlooking. And he's fat." I said "That guy saved your butt, and our's. tonight while you bailed and hid on us. And that's all you have to say?" She continued on "But he's not goodlooking." I became angry and said, again, "You would have had your butt kicked by that drunk guy and Cameron took care of it. That's all you have? I'll kick your butt right now for acting like that. Don't tick me off right now." Crak just looked and said "Scojen, she'll do it". And Scojen said "More importantly, look at that dresser. How cute is it?" I wanted to knock her to the ground at that point. I was so happy when Crak, so nicely, dropped me off at my car & I could go home.
Friday, June 01, 2007
Mr. Finance's Calls Have Been Disconnected
Mr. Finance (MF) was the guy who two weeks ago said he wanted to take me to Four. He wanted to go wine tasting in the Hamptons & to some fancy restaurant out there. He said, like oh so many, that he'd call. Well, in two weeks, he called twice. Once was at 1:24 am & the other at 11:30pm. That's calling? I don't think so.
I called him on my way to work at 12:00. Here's how it went:
MF: Hey! What's going on? How ya doin'? (as if we talk everyday for six months)
Me: Hi. I am good. Can I ask you a big favor?
MF: Sure. What is it?
Me: Would you please delete my number from your phone? I'd really appreciate it.
MF: What?
Me: Yeah, well, you said you'd call. You said you'd set up one of the many great-sounding
dates. You didn't. You finally called me at 1:24 am & 11:30 pm? That's a booty call.
That's a two-bit hooker call. Of which I am neither.
MF: I am so sorry. I didn't mean it that way. I should have called.
Me: Well, whether you meant it that way or not, that's what it said. When you are interested in
a woman, you call her at normal times & set up dates. You know you intended it to let me
know that it was going to be for one purpose only.
MF: I am so sorry. I am so sorry. Yes. I should have called. I'll delete your number. I am so
sorry.
Me: Okay. Great. Thanks so much! Have a good one!
And, that's about the size of it.
I called him on my way to work at 12:00. Here's how it went:
MF: Hey! What's going on? How ya doin'? (as if we talk everyday for six months)
Me: Hi. I am good. Can I ask you a big favor?
MF: Sure. What is it?
Me: Would you please delete my number from your phone? I'd really appreciate it.
MF: What?
Me: Yeah, well, you said you'd call. You said you'd set up one of the many great-sounding
dates. You didn't. You finally called me at 1:24 am & 11:30 pm? That's a booty call.
That's a two-bit hooker call. Of which I am neither.
MF: I am so sorry. I didn't mean it that way. I should have called.
Me: Well, whether you meant it that way or not, that's what it said. When you are interested in
a woman, you call her at normal times & set up dates. You know you intended it to let me
know that it was going to be for one purpose only.
MF: I am so sorry. I am so sorry. Yes. I should have called. I'll delete your number. I am so
sorry.
Me: Okay. Great. Thanks so much! Have a good one!
And, that's about the size of it.
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