Mr. Sarcasm Sends A Message

I turned on my phone this morning to find a text from Mr. Sarcasm. All it said was "good morning".

I am not sure how to proceed. I am feeling a bit jaded with this site and I am wondering why he flipped out on me then said he wants to meet and has now sent me emails and a text that I'd expect to get from a guy I went on a date with and really liked.

Again............sweet? stalker? HELP!

The Man With the Band

I figured that I have met two Staten Island guys in the last two years that were 1) hot 2) nice & 3) into me. Did I give either my number? No. why? I'm dumb & hindsight is 20/20.

I saw that a S.I. guy had checked out my profile so I looked at his. He was cute & seemed nice....on screen. I sent him an email asking him some questions. He sent back a nice email but didn't answer any of my questions. It's almost as if he sent me an email not knowing I sent him one.

We've done this four times in the last 6 days but he doesn't seem to delve any deeper than the basics of what's already posted on the site. It just doesn't seem to be clicking & I'm not sure how that works when he won't answer any of the questions I ask & only asks me pointless things like "What's the last band you saw?" and "Wow! So you work right down the street from where I last played, huh?"

Yeah. Great conversationalist. So, after the whole Chi-guy thing this morning, I sent Mr. Band an email saying "it's been nice emailing but that's all this seems to be so good luck with the music thing."

Am I expecting too much of this site?

Here's the Story of a Man Named................

So Chi-town guy & I had emailed on the site a couple of times & he sent me his number. I called it Tuesday night. He didn't answer so I left a message. He called me back last night and we chatted for an hour and a half. He seems really nice. We talked about his having lived in CT for 3 years & Chicago for 7 & now he's back because he has 2 nieces & 2 nephews that he wants to be near. SO CUTE! We talked about the site. He's been on 6 weeks.....which is also how long he has been at his job. He's an advertisement salesman for some firm & does well. Problem? He doesn't know anyone here & anyone he does is married & doesn't know anyone.

He asked me about my job & I told him what I do. Silence. He said he was very impressed, but I got the feeling that it was not impression at all.

We talked literature......he likes Alfred E. Newman.....I said "who?".....he said "Mad Magazine?" I giggled and said I have never read it.

We talked film....he loves Borat & Napoleon Dynamite. I told him I didn't see Borat & don't care if I do and that I began crying out of sheer pain 20 minues into Napoleon.

We talked pets. We talked experiences on the site. He had a couple of dates.....3 with the same girl until he said something that didn't seem inappropriate if he gave me the conversation history correctly & she doesn't want to go out anymore.

We left off with meeting at Friday's tonight around 8 for drinks.

I get up this monring & check my email & there's one from Chi-town. "Hey. I am going to cancel tonight. I don't think we have anything in common. Let me know you got this."

So I send it back saying "Okay, that's fine. I don't understand why you say that when we talked for an hour & a half last night, but if that's how you feel. Best of luck to you with your job & this site......" and my name.

He sends it back "I think I am too sophomoric for you. You seem serious."

So I reply "Again, I don't know you & if that's your impression of youself, that's fine. However, I am a HUGE kid." and told him some of my silliness. Again, I wished him luck in his pursuit & that's it.

So now my date tonight is cancelled because I am "too serious". This is why I don't tell people what I do for a living. This is why I have sat through really bad movies so people won't say that. I am tired of people in general. And I don't want to lie to someone because if it works out & I have to finally admit my age, my taste in film, my job.....they won't like it that I had lied.

I didn't want to be single. I didn't want Cowboy to go. I didn't think this is how things would be. Does it get better?

Mr. Obnoxious --the Email Version

So I got an email from Mr. Obnoxious. He sent a basic one "Liked your profile. Check mine out. Maybe we'll chat."

So I looked at it and saw that he does not like brainiacs nor does he like sarcasm. I send back a polite email and say "Thank you but I see you find these two things s turn-off. I am a bit of a brainiac and a lot sarcastic. Good luck and thank you, again."

To which I get an email back "Do you believe everything you read on the internet? Did you think maybe I was being sarcastic?"

So I send back "I do not believe everything I read. However, when people sign up for such a site, I do expect them to be honest with their own profile."

He replies "Again, do you think that maybe I was being sarcastic?"

I don't respond.

I get another email "Again, I was trying to be funny. You really do sound sweet. Maybe we'll chat" Ummmmmmm......no?

So far, emotional baggage, no comprehension level, bad sense of humor, and attitude all the way. Is there anyone normal on these things?

Cop #1 Mr. Sarcasm

So I've been chatting online with Mr. Sarcasm since Sunday night. He seemed okay and asked if I'd like to talk on the phone. Sure! So he gave me his # and I called it yesterday on the way back to work. We talked for a bit. He is very sarcastic & that's all well & good, but if I don't know you and you don't know me, things can be misconstrued.

So, I try to get him off the phone because I have to go to class. He doesn't seem to understnad this. I am being as clear and direct as a gal can be: "My class starts in 3 minutes and I have to get going. It's the first night." "Oh yeah? Where do you teach? What class are you getting ready to teach?" .....(Because I am in my cube getting ready to literally run)"I'll tell you at another time. I really must be going. You can call me later or tomorrow if you want." "Why? Don't you want to talk to me now?" I politely said "I have to go. Talk to you soon."

So he calls later on last night....10ish. We talk a bit more. He likes to talk about himself & each time I ask a question he rambles on for a few moments and then says "So why aren't you talking?" I respond "What would you like me to say?" and he then goes into another story. So interest is solely with him....about him....whatever. He never did ask me about my job or class or school again.

He asked me if I have any siblings & I said yes & told him how we went to the outlets for the day on Sunday. He asked "Did you buy me anything?" I said "Wait 'til you see" (my first jump at sarcasm with this guy). He said "I got you something, too." I said "Oh yeah? What?" and he says "The same thing I gave you last year" and begins to crack up.

I am not laughing because I don't find this funny. As a matter of fact, I plain just don't get it. So he says "C'mon! That was funny!" I said "No, it wasn't". With that, there's a moment or two of silence and he says "So, you don't want to talk anymore? Don't you get sarcasm?" I said "I didn't say I don't want to talk anymore. I did not know where to move the conversation." Now he starts getting a bit much for me & I finally said "Look, if you don't want to talk that's fine. There's no loss on either of our parts. It's a phone call to a virtual stranger." To which he says "So, what? You can't joke around?"

We left off shortly after. He asked if he could take me out to dinner and I said we agreed to coffee. He got mad at that. I pointed out that if this is a problem, that's okay. Again, no loss for either of us. He asked if he could call me today. I said that would be fine, if he wants to.

I got an email today ......................6:00 am "Wishing you a good morning :) "

Sweet? Stalker? Possessive already? You tell me.

Feel For Me

I had to go back to work today. Three weeks of not going to that place & 2 minutes into the walk it was as if I never left. Only sixteen more weeks until I am free again.

Gosh! The Most Mind-Numbing Experience Ever!

My plans on Saturday night were changed on me & I had nothing to do. I was talking to E. and said this and she fist said "How could you go out?" My thinking is "How can I not?" So I was pouting that I had nothing to do. She said I could go by her & watch a movie. I said "great!". So we ended up watching Napolean Dynamite.....which I think was a dud. I don't get it. How was it great? Why was it so popular? I wanted to cry about 20 minutes into it & said this to E. and she is so not sympathetic at all. Her reply was "You wanted to watch it". How did I know that sticking my finger into my eye and swirling it around would be more entertaining? (That was the match date last night, too. I'll be blind by my own doing before I know it.)

I even said to her "We can't get a book published but these people wrote nothing and got millions in ticket sales and products".

If anyone can explain this freakin' movie to me, please do because I just don't get it.