o HI o

I was the lucky person trying to take off in Thursaday's storm that ripped through the east coast. Roads were flooded & shut down. Tornado warnings stretched from Long Beach to Garden City. Pounding rain & driving winds made for a chaotic commute. Accidents everywhere.



I taught my class from 5:40- until 6:30, pushed them into the library to work on an essay, and tore out of the building fifteen minutes later than I should have left. I raced home....on flooded streets that could have swallowed my car........darted into the house to change & grab my suitcase & begin the long drive to LGA.



We chugged along the Northern State, passing accident after accident. It took so long to get there. However, I still arrived by 7:45. A whole fifteen minutes before my plane would begin boarding.



Now, I had checked online to see if my plane was delayed or cancelled. I checked numerous times before going to Briar. I had my family checking while I was at Briar. I checked one more time before getting into the car to head off to the airport. I called the airlines to listen to a recording that told me my flight was still scheduled for 8:29pm. I walk into the terminal and jump on the line & strain to see the monitors for "Departing Flights" and I see that my flight is now scheduled to take off at 9:15pm. Great! My luggage will still make it on the plane.



I went to Gate 2. I sat for twenty minutes. I hear announcement on top of announcement (literally. I had no clue what anyone was saying because two people insisted on making different announcements at the same time. This then became cause for numbers of people to go up to the counter and ask "What?") I heard my gate was now switched to #5. Okay. No biggie. I head to #5 and sat. For twenty minutes (again). Something just seemed weird because my flight, which had been posted on their board at Gate 5, was no longer listed. Did I miss the boarding? Is that possible while sitting right there at the gate? I went up to the attendants and asked where my flight number was supposed to be. They snickered and said "Gate 7". I said "Ummm.....I had been told 5 awhile ago." They smiled (that sneer) and said "No. You're at Gate 7". I start walking over to Gate 7, wondering how I could get single digits wrong, when I hear an announcement saying that my flight has just been moved to a new Gate. Thanks....losers.



We ended up taking off at 10:30. The flight was a bit bumpy and we had a HUGE dip in altitude, but nothing major. I landed in one piece around 12:15am.



I got off the plane and the first person I saw was Cowboy. He hasn't changed. Well, he has in subtle ways. His torso is broader.....a bit more substance to it. Not skinny like he had been, but he's still smaller than he probably should be. And no longer are there dark rings under his eyes. Apparently drugs will do that to you & stopping usage takes them away. We hugged. Hard. And in a matter of five minutes.......finding my luggage......it was as if we never missed a beat. I had my best friend back in my life.

We rode back to where he is staying in his very own Mazda 6. This is the first car HE completely owns since I have known him. Its all blue & pretty. We got back to his place & pretty much crashed. We laid there & he said "Can I have a hug?" I said sure & we hugged for a long time.

The next morning I bounced him out of bed so that we could grab Cracker Barrell for breakfast & then start the hr+ drive to Longaberger Baskets. I was so excited to go! We chit-chatted the entire day away...never missing a step as we did. We got back pretty late from the Basket place & decided to go to this gorgeous outdoor mall in Easton. I had to get Bearamy his souvenier shirt. And, what else would he have to have but the Ohio State University tshirt! Yeah...everyone wears OSU gear...or school colors.......or some sort of support. We were the only two people NOT in some form of red, silver, or white. Sad, but true. We walked around a bit, but it was cold & I was so tired. So we grabbed Panera soup for dinner & crashed around 10:30/11ish.

The next day was back to that Easton Center. They had a locally grown/locally made fair taking place & I wanted to see this in the daylight. We strolled through as if time had not passed for either of us. Still tired, we went back to his place & napped for a couple of hours. Then it was off to find a place to eat dinner. Olive Garden was his choice.....it had been the first palce we went together back in 2002, so it just seemed fitting. We ate & then headed down to "Campus". That's the OSU territory. Where all bars are located. Where everyone was in OSU apparel. Why? Because there had been a game earlier that day.......let me point out that their games are bigger than professional league games. Literally EVERYONE comes out for the game. The city of Columbus may as well shut down for the day because of the game. So we partied it up with OSU-colored people.

Still pretty tired, we went back and, once again crashed.

Sunday rolled around too fast for me & it was time to get back to the airport. We talked. A lot. He explained some of the things that happened between us. He explained some of his choices over the last year. He is truly sorry for everything that has happened & is trying to work on getting his life back on track. I forgive him. Not for him. But for me. I need to move on with the hurt & pain. I need to be able to deal with it. I still want him in my life.......in some capacity. How? I'm not sure. I do know he will always be my best friend. That won't change. But I am not sure I want or need more than friendship.

So while the trip was good in that I did not cry, did not get arrested for assaulting him in the airport, and did not have to jump back on a plane immediately because it was too painful, I am still left in limbo.

With time, I'll figure it out.

Columbus-Bound.....Remind Me Why?

So Cowboy had asked repeatedly for me to visit. I had postponed because I didn't have time or money or I had other events that I was not about to miss. Two weeks ago I found amazing flights to Columbus, so I called and asked if he still wanted me to visit. Sure! He seemed happy.

Seemed being the operative word.

Since that time, phone calls have been less frequent. Excuses of "being tired" and "having to work" have come up regularly. We spoke for 10 minutes on Sunday and like three on Monday. That's it. I have not talked to him at all about anything real....significant........or pointless.

It seems that now I am going to visit, he has no need to call or try to talk to me about things other than work and hanging out with the guys. Yeah, that's the extent of the convesations. I ask him questions and he responds. He doesn't ask me. So he has no idea how my day is or how an outing with KDP, Crak, and the Blonde has gone. It's as if there's no interest.

So, I am hesitant to get on that plane tonight. I'm going with no expectations except to see him and see how I feel when I see him. I may be home Friday. Who knows.

But, if anyone wants to call me this weekend....be my guest! I'll probably enjoy the conversation since my host doens't seem to have much to say to begin with,

Reactivating "The Year of the Buzz"

Last night KDP & I attended the ever-popular "Girls' Night Out" at the Puck Building. This was a much anticipated event and I was hoping it'd be just as good as the last two.

I originally wanted to let my 3:30 class out early so I could run home, change, eat, and get to the train without falling on my face. Then I got the email that I was being observed by the former chair of the dept. and there's no way I could get away with letting my group out early.

great

Now I'd be nervous & wound up all day anticipating this observation. The EngDoc came & sat in the back, smiled and said he'd try not to talk to the classmates & be disruptive. I had told him that I'd only be teaching about half the time because the other half was a research paper workshop. I was hoping he'd get bored & leave.

Nope.

He stayed. Until 4:45. Thanks. My three girls that are so disruptive were their typical selves and may have ruined my ob. for me. And, as usual, when you have to be somewhere NOW don't they all stay AFTER to ask questions? Could they have asked while EngDoc was there? NO!

So I did my best & then ran like the wind (well...okay.....I ran like an exhausted Grotter who'd been wearing heels all day & just had a big shot watch her try to maintain order) to my car to drive like a nut to get home.

I made it home just in time to jump into jeans and fly back out the door. The escalator wasn't working at the station so I had to "haul ass" up that too. I did end up falling into my seat on the train and had to take a few minutes to catch my breathe.

I found KDP at 6:20 in Penn and we were off to grab the D to head over to Lafayette. We made it there without incident & hustled into the Puck Building.

Ah! Drinks! We did a quick once around in the place and found the bar where we'd had such a good time in March. I asked some cute (but curly-haired...I'm not a fan of...personal preference) bartender to serve us. I asked him for something sweet...and true to form he said "Besides me?" Sober, I flirted mercilessly with him. KDP & I then walked away and sucked that baby down so fast because neither of us had eaten nor did we have anything to drink. A Grotter haulin' ass becomes a very thirsty Grotter. We did one aisle and made it back to the bar for Round 2. More terrible flirting. Shameless. But I had to do it.

I won't go any further but I will say that five drinks is all I managed. I have done eight at the last two events so I am quite disappointed in myself. The goody bags were just okay. Not even close to as good as the prior bags. I did get a cutie little tank for $7. The bartender asked if he could see it. Oooo.....we also scored free flip flops from some new line coming out at Macys. He wanted to see those, too. We told him to go get a pair for his girlfriend. He said he's single. Hmmmmm................well.................nah. I didn't bother. They are supposed to flirt with the women. And I was now buzzed. Buzzed

We made it home a bit after 11....... weak, I know. But I have been out of sync for a while and this may be just what I need to get me back into the Year of the Buzz!

How Dumb Is Mr. Italy?

No, that is not the opening of a joke. However, he truly is one in his own right. He imed me early this morning. He said he's tried calling me several times. And yet, amazing that my phone does not ring with his number. Hmmmmmm. He said that the first time he called it an asian woman answered the phone. Well, that's not me. And now he tells me that I have a message saying "Hey! Leave one!" When would I ever say that on a message? Yeah. I know.

And so begins the whole "why do you think I don't want to see you?" bit. So sad. I know he doesn't want to hang out because any guy intersted in a woman can get a number (from a computer im) correct. And since this has gone on how many times over the last year(?) I just don't get it. I mean I know its a game but can't figure out why he won't admit its a game.

Weird.

Here's the im conversation:
Italy: hey. how's it going?
me: good
Italy: i called you the other day & an asian woman answered. it was so weird.
me: then you still don't have my number right
Italy: no because it said "hey. leave one"
me: nope
Italy: it sounds exactly like you!
(keep in mind we have not spoken in over a year.......he has no idea what I sound like)
me: I don't say things like "leave one"
Italy: Do you not want to hear from me? What are you doing today?
me: working
Italy: Do you wanna meet up for lunch?
me: Fine
Italy: Be excited. I want to see you. Don't you want to see me?
me: Where are you (expecting a 5-borough locale)
Italy: Mineola
me: oh
Italy: Would you mind coming towards me? Where do youwant to meet up?
me: Pick a place & let me know
Italy: Okay that's fine
me: Have a good one and maybe I'll see you later
Italy: you too....hope to see you later

Lengthy pause

me: And you still have yet to ask for my correct number or give me your's. So
do you see how serious this 'meeting up' thing really is? bye
Italy: will I be able to get a hello kiss.........
(I did not reply seeing as he is so full of___________)

Italy: I take your silence as a yes!

And then he signed off. Why? What? Huh?

Elodie ROCKS! (aka: The Best Shut Down Ever!)

I had the most awesome time watching this week's episode of "The Hills". Why? Elodie. I have liked her from Day One that she entered the picture. She comes across as smart, thoughtful, and has a great sense of style.

Bolthouse had an opening for events director and Elodie mentioned this to Heidi (aka....waste of space). She pointed out that she has been there close to three years and felt that she had proven herself worthy on numerous occassions. Heidi's wheels started turning & she belived that being there 2 years qualified her to run for the position as well. Ofcourse, weasel Spencer was more than happy to encourage her to apply for the job.

Shocker! Heidi got it. Poor Elodie.

Anyway--back to this week's episode. Heidi arrived and work, plopped down on a couch next to Elodie & started griping about running into Lauren the night before & how its so weird that Lauren won't talk to her but she'll go to dinner with her ex boyfriend. E. listens to this drivel & then turns to Heidi and says "Why is it that you and Lauren aren't friends anymore? What did you do to her?" Cut to Heidi's shocked face. E. continues "And weren't you friends with Audrina? And she doesn't talk to you anymore either, right? And what about Whitney? You aren't friends with her anymore, are you? Its so sad that you don't even know what you do. I have to get back to work now. Bye!" And Elodie just turns back to the papers infront of her, leaving Heidi dumbfounded sitting there next to her.

SO AWESOME! It's about time someone put Heidi in her place.

"...I mentioned the bisque"

Pilot Inspector and I were supposed to go out Saturday night. I didn't want to go but agreed. He called on Friday to cancel, as he had come down with a cold. Yippee! Not that he was sick, mind you. But now I didn't have to 1. suffer through a date I didn't want or 2. have to come up with a way to cancel out.

He called Sunday night, sounding so much better, and asked if I'd like to do something during the week. I don't have that much time weekdays, but I suggested lunch. It's much more limited and keeps my weekends open for who knows what. We agreead that he'd call Tuesday to give me a time & place.

Noontime rolls around & he called me. We chatted for a minute & he asked if lunch was still god for today. I said it was fine & I could be anywhere by 12:30. I knew it'd be someplace on Rte. 110 because he knows I work at the Farm (days & times he is not privvy to) and he's usually near Republic Airport.

He asked if I knew where Blackstone's was because he's heard its really good. I said I didn't know because this sounded fancy, expensive, and too time consuming. He said "Oh, its right past....balh blah blah..." I siad "Are you sure that's where you want lunch?" so hoping that Panera or Chipotle would be mentioned because they are lighter, cheaper, and so yummy. "Yeah. I've heard a lot about this place & have been dying to go."

So, I had to meet him at this steakhouse. Which, by the way, I had mentioned to him on our first date that I am not into red meats. But, for our second date...sure. why not? (Moron)

The place is rustic & filled with men in suits out to lunch. Good looking men. At least the scenery would be enjoyable, even if lunch & my companion would not be.
The hostess seated us in a booth for four that was a U-shape and faced every other table in the restaurant. She literally pulled the table away from the bench seat so we could walk in and then pushed it into place as we sat. I felt as if we were on display & felt weird sitting next to a guy I am so not interested in looking at other patrons looking at us.

The first page of the menu had the lunch items....sushi of all kinds, steaks, crusted salmon, one type of chicken (a whole one I believe), and salads with lobster or raw tuna in them. Page two-four had wines. That was it.

I ended up ordering a salad and the lobster bisque from the appetizers menu. He ordered some raw tuna thingy. I didn't bother to look at it. My salad was HUGE and in no way meant for one person as an appetizer. The bisque came in a caste-iron kettle. Big lobster chunks in it. Mmmmmmmmmmmmm.

Pilot Inspector was boring. He doesn't have much to say. He uses words like "cool beans". He didn't remember that his friend's wedding was last weekend.

But............mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.................the creamy, filled with lobster chunks............warm & filling bisque.

I didn't have to make out with him just because I ordered lobster, did I?

Three Reasons Why You Should See "Sydney White"

1. Amanda Bynes is funny.
2. Her love interest, Tyler Prince, is hot.
3. Amanda Bynes is funny.