So This Is Rockbottom

I broke down & called Cowboy minutes ago. Remember, there is still the issue of him owing me money. I had sent him a text last week about it & asked him to just send it and that the receiving of it would be enough for me. Well, here it is. One week later. No check. No money. So I called & (thank goodness) it went to voicemail. Still his phone. So I left a message just saying I want it back. It took all of my strentgh. I was proud ......... my voice didn't waiver once. I got through it without cracking or choking. However, when I hung up, my hands were shaking so bad that I dropped the phone. Sad, aren't I? He still has such an effect on me almost 2 months later. Any advice? Does anyone have a remedy for this?