Okay~~~still venting. Still depressed. Still crying.
No word from Cowboy & it's been a week. We went longer last year because I had stopped talking to him because he failed to show up for the Chocolate Show. I didn't talk to him for three weeks & then another 3. The only reason I did was because of Thanksgiving. And then the day before Christmas. But since New Year's Day, we've talked non-stop.
I lost my best friend. At first I thought I was crying because it hurt that he didn't care & now there's nobody to feel all of those special things for or about me. I have come to realize that I am crying over him. Granted, some will say "it's just a week. get over yourself." I say to them "Too bad you've never felt so good about someone that losing them hurt you this much. Sad that you have gone through life not knowing that someone did feel that way about you & more."
If I knew things would work out between us, I'd be on a plane to Portland in 2 hours. Screw work & plans right now. That's where I'd be. Hoping to run into his arms at the gate.
