As each day passes, I guess I am getting better. When Cowboy first told me that it was over, I cried so much that my everything hurt. I didn't say anything right away becasue the mere thought if it drove me over the edge. A couple days later it was all I could talk about. Every sentence began with "How could he?" and "Why did he...?" with hopes of someone having the answer I need so much.
When the first text came through, I was yanked back to crying hysterics. The second brought about anger & insult.
Now, I have not heard from him since that last text in the wee hours of Sunday morning. I think I am geting better. I am still hopeful that this will all blow over & he'll call & say it was a mistake & let's try this again. Yet, if I don't hear from him, I may be able to hang on to that last strand of sanity that (I think) I have.
I wonder how I will feel on Christmas & New Years? That will be so tough. And the three weeks off won't help the recovery process too much. I will just have to wait and see how I deal with it.
~Treading water
