(ignore the ramblings of a crying, scorned woman)
Cowboy called me today.
THUNK................................................as I fell off of the chair.
He started with the "Hi. How are you?" and moved into "So I heard you had a conversation with someone on Saturday." I said yes I did. He apologized for her getting involved and wanted to know if it was the first time she had ever contacted me. I said "In all fariness, I did call & leave you a message. She didn't contact me out of the blue, she must have seen my number." He said that she had no right to contact me at all.....and that I must have figured out that she has his password and all pertinent information. I said Yes & that it didn't make sense, as they are dating for 5 months and we dated for over 4 years and never exchanged such things, out of trust and for no other reason. So I couldn't figure out if they had moved that fast or if there were trust issues. It's a combination of both. They moved fast & she did not trust him completely, yet it is she who seems to not be trustowrthy.
I congratulated him on the engagement and he said I shouldn't as it was called off yesterday. She broke it off for now because she, all of a sudden, isn't ready. She has not worked since she was fired in November & he got her job............see the November/December posts....... and he has been doing everything for the two of them. They do not live together, as she & her 2 kids live with her parents. He is not allowed to live there as her parents do not want her younger brother influenced in any way. Ummmmmm a little late for that?
She has, however, been working for free promoting clubs & alcoholic beverages and she gets in & drinks for free for her & any friends. So, he is now an admitted AA candidate & will be doing that soon.
He found a text from me in his phone on Monday & confronted her about it & she told him the whole story. They fought. He said she had no right to do this. She turned it around on him & broke off the engagement. She called him yesterday to tell him to come pick up all of his things, including the ring. He pointed out that she just 'came in to some money' three days ago. Coincidence? Makes you wonder.
I, like fool, told him that this will all blow over and they will be back together soon. She is just angry that she got caught. I pointed out that he better not take her back if she is still putting the blame on him and he needs to be treated with respect by the person he is going to marry.
I am dizzy and nauseus over that last senence.
He said he misses talking to me. He misses our friendship. I said I miss talking, too, as we used to talk every day and have not spoken since Dec 30th. It kills me to go to bed at night & not talk to him. And what was so great was talking to him today was like never missing a step. It was so natural & confortable, as if the last three months didn't even happen.
He wants me to call every now and then. I said I can't because it will hurt too much. I want it one way & it will never be so why bother. He did promise me my money & I said send it in one-lump sum when you can & I will send my last text letting you know I got it.
He said he probably deserved this: her breaking it off with him. He said he knows how I felt. He has no idea howI felt or feel as I suffer every day that he is not here. His pain is over a 5 month relationship. Mine is over 4 1/2 years & expectations for a future. If she found someone else & cashed him in for another guy & then tells him about it, then maybe he'll begin to understand.
I ended the conversation telling him that this will work out. They will be together. He'll get help. His parents will talk to him again. He'll find friends who aren't into hard drugs. Things will be okay.
There better be a seat in Heaven for me after this.
