So I went out on my first "match" date. HORRIBLE! We met at Starbucks. Innocent enough. He gets out & looks sort of like his picture. Now, I believe my pics look like me. Why would I post something that doesn't represent me in my usual setting? One is of me at the Hofbrau with the steins of beer. I have my usual tank & zip-up hoodie on. The others are in Vegas with sweat dripping but I still look pretty good. His hair is buzzed shorter than the picture he sent, his muscles are bigger, and he seems stockier than what the picture showed. Okay, looks aren't everything as Gameboy is not his drop-dead gorgeous self but I still find myself attracted to his kisses.
So we met. In the parking lot. He was nervous as his voice was shaky & jittery as he spoke with me. He drives a tractor trailer for the Post Office......from Bethpage to Philly five days a week. His profile said he has "some college". Now I don't need you to have a degree, but I need you to have a brain. This guy was a box of rox. Yes, I spelled it the way he would. "Some college" turns out to be that he tried to take an English class once and didn't like it nor did he finish it. We talked. Aimlessly because when I thought we had a conversation going, he'd say "That's like when......" and come up with something that had NOTHING to do with whatever! He asked me about the beer picture. So I was telling him about Munich & the Hofbrau & the radler and how the German boys made fun of us for drinking a radler. He responds with "I hate to fly". I narrowed my eyes for a moment, feeling my forehead furrow, and said "Why do you hate to fly?" He replies "It was like this time my brother drove up from Florida with his two kids and I didn't want to go to work the next day. So I called in sick and they couldn't get anyone to cover my route from midnight 'til 4 am".
Yeah----that's how I felt, too. The whole time I wanted to cry because he isn't Cowboy. He doesn't like to shop. He doesn't like to fly. He CAN'T COMMUNICATE! And where is Cowboy, you ask? Probably boinking Laura the Slut. You read right. Don't be shocked.
Hottie Danny was oh so much better & I am glad E. takes the blame for dropping the ball on that. Yes 22 is too young but why not meet for coffee or drinks and appetizers? I do that with people older than me. Any one of any legal age can do that and it's just nice. And I still missed Cowboy that night, but Hottie Danny made it not so bad.
Oh, and I say "Absolutely" because with each story I told, this guy had no idea what I was saying, and he'd nod in agreement and say "absolutely" to each comment. I may as well have spoken Japanese and I would have gotten the same remark.
I HATE MY LIFE! Did I mention Briar starts Tuesday. Salt in the wounds, people. Salt in the wounds.
